#with cat the lyrics is on point but i need to polish the feelings of my voice the power and everything....

[seariii]

okay so.... my ears arent still at their 100% (i probably should go get a check up) and i havent sang since i got sick (Dec 31st) but im good enough to be able to sing now >:3c and i just got excited and voice reveal (?)

so like, be aware this has mistakes, they arent edited and im just singing with the music from the laptop and recording from my phone.... when i eventually start to actually upload covers itll hopefully be more... um.... with a bit more production lmao a bit more clean

old doll is in english, while cat is in spanish (actually, if someone is actually gonna listen to them, listen to cat first since i feel like old doll sounds better, so.... to kinda to redeem myself)

[jjkamochoso]

A Game of Fire and Ice

Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Satoru Gojo x gn!reader

When you get hurt on a mission, Gojo’s full power comes to light and you get a front row seat to seeing just how vicious your boyfriend can be.

Inspired by the lyrics “I don’t wanna scare you but I can and I will and I fucking hate it” in the song “Curses” by food house

Warnings: cussing, violence, blood

Satoru was warm.

His presence around you was like sunshine lighting up your face on the hottest summer day. His love for you burned as if he were the blazing logs in a fireplace on the coldest winter night, or an uncontrollable forest fire in the wilderness.

Satoru was warm.

Gojo was not.

His piercing ice blue stare could make the strongest enemy weak in the knees. If someone ever dared to get in his way, the drunkenness of power he felt as he tore them down, bit by bit, playing with the poor soul akin to a cat toying with a trapped mouse, was a feeling he would never tire of.

Satoru was warm. Gojo was frigid. Brutal, even.

And right now, it was Gojo that swarmed your vision, not Satoru, as you laid in the street, sticky blood pouring from your wounds and coating the pavement in a macabre painting of pure burgundy. The curse you were sent to exorcise had been misranked and maybe if you were more prepared walking into your fight with a special grade, you wouldn’t be on your deathbed right now. As a grade 1 sorcerer, you were by no means weak, but your opponent was formidable, outmaneuvering your techniques and putting up a strong fight, so much so that you were currently splayed out instead of standing up. When Gojo heard you were sent to fight a special grade instead of the simple grade 2 you were expecting, he was quick to teleport to your area as soon as he could. He knew you could handle yourself but figured you wouldn’t mind a helping hand so you could get back to enjoying your day together. And a helping hand was a far cry from what you needed at this point—you needed to see Shoko as soon as possible. As Gojo began his fight with the curse, you tried using reverse cursed technique to stop your bleeding but it was no use. Your energy had dwindled too much and you had no choice but to watch the fight unfold, hoping Gojo could be quick today. You heard the white haired man cackle as he unleashed raw fury upon the curse, pummeling it with cursed energy. Even through your spotted vision, you saw how he released endless amounts of punches at the curse, hitting it with both the blue and red techniques and laughing uncontrollably as the curse desperately tried to evade the attacks.

“What’s wrong? Getting tired?” taunted Gojo, blue eyes radiating a bloodlust like you had never seen before. It chilled you to your very core seeing how ruthless he gets with his enemies. You remembered how just the other night you were cuddled with the tall man, his lithe figure lazily draped over you, laughing about something silly and immature. You could hardly believe it was the same man in front of you, the one showcasing an insatiable desire to cause as much pain and anguish to this curse as he could. It was like he was in his own little world where nothing else mattered but proving his superiority over the curse he could easily squish under his well polished, expensive shoe like a bug.

“Don’t give up yet! We’re having fun, aren’t we?”

Another blast of blue went by and rubble from the now obliterated building came raining down on you, doing nothing to help the throbbing headache you were nursing. You shakily put a hand to your gushing abdomen and pulled it away to see it hadn’t let up a bit. You didn’t have much time but Gojo didn’t seem to notice. Maybe his Six Eyes were telling him you could hold on for a few minutes longer? You didn’t know. All you were aware of was that it was time for Gojo’s game of predator and prey to come to an end.

“Gojo, please… just end it,” you pleaded, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears as he continually jumped around, frustrating the curse he was battling since it couldn’t land a single blow on the man.

“Gojo!”

Nothing.

More rubble fell on you, this time hitting you in the same spot as the curse did, making your wound bleed even more, which you didn’t think was possible.

You let out an anguished groan. “Sa… Satoru. Please.”

That was enough to gain your lover’s attention. The glint of his blue eyes caught your own and it was like he crashed back down to earth and became aware of his surroundings, no longer intoxicated by sheer power. When he finally espied exactly how hurt you were, he opened his domain and killed the curse once and for all, his mind reeling with the fact that you were gravely injured. As much fun as he was having, you were supremely more important to him than continuing to play with the curse that dared to lay a finger on you. As you saw him rip the head off the curse and explode it into tiny pieces, you let out a sigh of relief knowing that thing was dead. The domain closed and your boyfriend ran over to you in a flash; you could tell Satoru was back.

Your Satoru.

So why did you feel uneasy when he loomed over you?

“Y/n, hey, you’ll be alright, just hang in there a sec, okay? We’re going to Shoko.”

As his long fingers reached toward you, your body reacted before you could think rationally about your actions.

You flinched.

You saw the hurt flash across his face, apparent only for a second before it was gone in an instant as he scooped you up. Satoru was feeling a multitude of emotions at that point. He was grateful that the curse was laughably weak and couldn’t land a single blow on him or else he probably wouldn’t have enough energy to teleport you back to the school like he was currently doing. However, he was taken aback by your reluctance to let him near you. Why did you have such a visceral reaction to him reaching for you?

Was it you being afraid of him accidentally hurting you with all your injuries?

Or was it you afraid of him hurting you…

On purpose?

You had fallen unconscious as he hauled you into Shoko’s office, laying your body on a table so she could heal you. He took a seat on an extra chair, a frown settling on his typically smiling face. Beside the glaringly obviously shitty fact that his partner was seemingly now afraid of his touch (or him as a whole), he hated seeing you like this, bruised and bloodied, especially due to a clerical error. You shouldn’t have been sent there at all, certainly not by yourself anyway, and if he hadn’t gotten there when he did… Satoru shook his head to clear the thought.

“They’ll be fine. If you had waited any longer, they wouldn’t have made it.”

Shoko rested a hand on Satoru’s shoulder, his gaze set on your unmoving body.

“They’ll wake up soon. I’m going for a smoke.”

A few minutes after she left, you began to stir. The cold table jolted you awake and you sat up in an instant, wondering if you were still in the midst of a battle. When you saw you were in a sterile room and Satoru’s blindfold over his eyes, you registered that you were safe and remembered the fight was over.

“Glad to see you’re awake. I was missing seeing those beautiful eyes of yours,” Satoru said, but his tone was anything but playful.

“Satoru, I-”

“Why did you flinch?”

You were quiet, stunned at his outright question and it prompted him to ask again, urgency lacing every word.

“When I reached for you back there. Why did you flinch?”

The truth had to come out now, there was no way for you to avoid answering. Not when he was staring you down, the blindfold doing nothing to lessen the intensity.

“Satoru, you… you scared me.”

The frown was back on his face. “What, like because you thought I was going to hurt you? Or like… hurt you, hurt you?”

His heart was pounding a mile a minute. He’d manage to keep most people at arm’s length his entire life, only letting a certain few get close to him as to avoid getting hurt. Now, waiting to hear your admission, he regretted ever daring to fall in love or thinking he could get some semblance of a happy ending in this messed up world.

“I… I just… I didn’t know at the time.”

You couldn’t bear to look at him, ashamed of your confession, so you kept your eyes on your fiddling hands.

He stood up with a loud screech of the chair as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

“Fuck, my own partner doesn’t even know if I’m going to hurt them,” he said, a bitter chuckle leaving his throat. “I can save you from a curse that’s about to kill you and yet you still don’t feel safe if I’m around.”

“What? Satoru, stop, I had just gotten my ass kicked by a special grade and I was delirious from blood loss. That’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?” he cried out, desperation leaking from him like a broken faucet. “I could kill you right now without breaking a sweat. I have a power that no sorcerer or curse can match. I can annihilate entire countries if I wanted to, y/n, and you’re telling me you’d be completely fine taking me back to your apartment for dinner and a movie right now? You think my abilities cease when I’m not actively fighting a curse?”

“You scared me back there because you were murderous, Satoru,” you seethed, “and because not everyone is some god amongst men like you. I watched my boyfriend toy with a special grade curse like it was nothing. The same curse that nearly took my life and left me bleeding out on the ground, alone. So yes, at that moment, I was scared. I’m sorry for upsetting you, I-”

“See? That’s the thing. I don’t want to scare you but I can and I will and I fucking hate it! Don’t you see how shitty that makes me feel? You’re the one person that I never want to feel afraid of me.” Satoru’s voice cracked and he took a deep breath, calming himself down a little before continuing. “I went ballistic because that curse almost killed you. It needed to suffer for trying to take away the thing I hold dearest in this world. I don’t know what it’s like to lose in a battle of jujutsu, and I probably never will. I just know that I want to keep you safe and I will do whatever I must to make that happen.”

“I get that, Satoru, believe me,” you replied, finally looking at him. You could tell he was distraught and you understood why. You couldn’t imagine the weight he held on his shoulders as the strongest, not to mention how his (justifiably) large ego made it difficult to empathize and connect with others at times. However, you knew that the man in front of you was not the killing machine that relished in the pain he inflicted on others. The man in front of you was your loving boyfriend, the one who sent you funny cat videos and pouted when he couldn’t buy copious amounts of sweets at the store. Even though they were the same person, you knew that there was a time and place for both iterations of the man and they would both do everything in their power to keep you happy and safe. You reached out your hand to his cheek and this time it was him who flinched as your delicate touch landed on his skin.

“You are prideful, egotistical, and often arrogant. You don’t take criticism well or understand that there’s a time and place for jokes. You like to show off your immense power and yes, oftentimes it scares the shit out of me.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “You’re not making me feel any better.”

“But,” you said, your thumb softly swiping along his jaw, “I know underneath all of that lies a good heart. You are a good man, Satoru, one that I’m proud to love. I know you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose, okay? In that moment, when I flinched, it wasn’t only you specifically, but the situation as a whole that I was scared of. You’re a total menace when you’re mad.”

You gave him a kiss on the cheek and he leaned into it ever so slightly.

“But you were also totally hot as you ripped the head off that curse for me. I trust you with my life, forever and always. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I don’t.”

Satoru accepted your apology internally, opting to instead do what he did best—crack a joke and lighten the mood.

“It was agonizing watching my favorite cuddle buddy pull away from me, I felt like I needed Shoko to heal my own wounds,” he said, pouting. You shook your head and let out a small laugh, making Satoru genuinely smile for the first time that day. He may not do everything right in a relationship, or completely understand how to relate to other people, but he’d be damned if he let you die before he could try to learn.

[unimportant-ramblings]

You're so lucky we're best friends, because I wouldn't tolerate Rentposting from anyone else. What prompted this latest burst???

I am so lucky we're best friends for a multiplicity of reasons! But we must always remember that I am a dirty theatre kid and went through a PRONOUNCED rent phase at like 13/14, I know all the lyrics, I would wake up and put the rent dvd in my little portable dvd player and watch the first couple scenes before i went to school, it is my mother's favorite musical of all time (MoR continues to be absolutely impossible to predict) like. I have seen things bro.

The recent burst is 1) because it's Christmas adjacent so I can listen to the soundtrack while getting in a seasonal vibe. Oh and also. It gets dark at like 4 I need some comfort food

But 2) for all its faults, it's also just this fascinating piece of cultural and theatre history. Like Jonathan Larson dies the day of the first off Broadway preview.... the show isn't finished? Or at least not polished? A show can change so much in previews? Workshops? Come on! And I think you can really tell that there are pieces of the show that don't connect; the homeless aspect completely disappears after act 1, the tone whips wildly from scene to scene, act 2 by and large has less good songs even for a second act, things like Mark's line "I'm the one of us to survive" seems to be tied to the point in the script where Joanne and Maureen are also HIV positive but thats not the case in the "finished" version and TELLINGLY THE LAST SONG IN THE SHOW IS SO BAD something that you'd think they'd fix after they had seen it staged, but he never gets a chance. Like I could go on!

And it's so interesting because the number one show that rent gets compared to is Hair; countercultural shows that fundamentally changed broadway. But Hair is famous for being a very different kind of show- it continues to maintain its hippy ethos by having open, changing direction, the songs are changed or reranged. The plot of Hair is minimal because it's about the feelings and the more open they can be with the audience, the more effective Hair can be.

Rent, meanwhile. Despite the obvious problems that rent has, Larson's death meant that the entire production was frozen in amber. Any alterations to the original direction have been met with heavy fan and critical negativity. And I mean, I'm a phantom fan, I'm a cats fan, I like a replica. But with rent,,,, the show doesn't feel done!! And there are big problems that feel like someone with a keen eye could just. Fix. a lot of them but they never will.

This is added to the fact that Rent essentially modeled theatre Fandom for the next 30 years at minimum. Oh also it somehow won the pulitzer. Like it's fascinating.

I will never, ever be free of Rent and I must inflict this on my beloved mutuals from time to time 💕💕💕

[bibbawrites]

im so glad your requests are open you dont have to but would you do a luke and reggie one shot? maybe reggie has been getting flustered around luke lately and when the chemistry moment happens reggie realizes its a crush and works up the nerve to tell him and luke is all flirty which just completely renders reggie useless lol and luke initiates a kiss that leads to a makeout session?

this turned out a bit shorter than expected so doing it as a blurb thing, i hope you enjoy!!

(set after julie can touch the boys, which also made them visible and touchable to everyone apparently, so flynn and julie's dad can see them now)

Reggie had been thinking. It all started when Luke had serenaded Reggie to prove he had chemistry with everyone, and now Reggie was completely and utterly in love with Luke Patterson.

He needed advice, and quickly.

"Hey Jules, can I ask you something?" Reggie poofed into Julie's bedroom, freezing when he noticed Flynn sat on the bed too, painting Julie's nails a bright purple. "Oh... I can come back later if you want."

"You're fine Reg, what's up?" Julie smiled, and Reggie relaxed slightly.

Flynn patted an empty spot on the bed next to her and Reggie flopped down, taking a deep breath.

"How did you know you were bisexual?" He asked softly. Julie and Flynn exchanged a look.

"I just kinda always knew that I liked girls as much as I liked boys, and when I looked it up and read about being bisexual everything just kinda made sense. Why?" Julie explained.

"I think I have a crush on someone, but he's a guy and I know I love girls, like really love girls, but I kinda maybe also like guys too?" Reggie admitted, and both girls grinned at him.

"We're so proud of you Reggie. That must have been so hard to admit to us." Flynn started, putting the lid back on the nail polish bottle so that she could take Reggie's hand.

"And you know we love you no matter who you like, right?" Julie finished.

"Yeah I know that." He smiled. "Thanks guys."

"So who is it?" Flynn questioned. Reggie blushed.

"I can't tell you." He mumbled, glancing at Julie. "You'll be mad."

"I promise you, no matter who it is I won't be mad at you." Julie assured him, taking his other hand in hers gently, trying not to smudge her freshly painted nails.

"Is it Julie's dad?" Flynn joked. Reggie shook his head quickly.

"So it's one of the boys then. Alex or Luke." Flynn tried.

"Or Willie?" Julie added.

"No it's not Alex or Willie." Reggie said, before realising he had basically admitted his crush to the two girls, who were looking at him with matching looks of realisation on their faces.

"Reg, why would you think I'd be mad at you for having a crush on Luke?" Julie questioned.

"Cause you like him?" Reggie said, as if it was obvious.

"Jules are you cheating on me?" Flynn gasped playfully. Reggie's eyes widened.

"You guys are dating?!" He exclaimed, glancing between the two of them.

"Oh Reggie." Julie laughed. "I told you this when it happened, do you not remember? When you and Luke helped me and my dad wash the car?"

Reggie blushed, remembering the day. Luke had taken his shirt off after Reggie had sprayed him with water, and after that the rest of the day was kinda a blur. All he could think about was Luke.

"I was a little distracted." He admitted. Julie shook her head, clearly understanding him.

"I should have known when you didn't say anything." She answered.

"So are you gonna tell him?" Flynn butted in. Reggie shook his head quickly.

"No way. After Luke and Alex broke up, Luke made a rule that no member of Sunset Curve was to ever date another member again."

"But you're not Sunset Curve anymore. You're Julie and the Phantoms. And Julie and the Phantoms doesn't have that rule." Flynn pointed out.

"You think I should tell him then?" Reggie asked, and both girls nodded. Reggie thought for a moment.

"Okay then." He decided. "I'll do it."

Julie and Flynn cheered for a moment, and when they stopped it was replaced by a look of realisation on Julie's face.

"Wait, Luke and Alex dated?"

-

Poofing into the garage to find Luke was the scariest thing that Reggie had ever done, and he'd done some pretty scary things in his life.

Luke was curled up in the loft, doodling on a scrap piece of paper, something he did whenever he was struggling to find the right lyrics.

"Hey." Reggie spoke, alerting Luke to his presence. The guitarist looked up, a grin appearing on his face when he saw Reggie.

"Hi." He replied, putting his pen down. "What you up to?"

"I need to tell you something?" Reggie said hesitantly, sitting down across from Luke

"You sure about that?" Luke joked. "You sound uncertain."

"No I'm sure." Reggie replied determinedly.

"Okay then, what's going on in that pretty head of yours?" Luke asked, and Reggie's heart fluttered.

"P-pretty?" He stuttered. Luke grinned.

"The prettiest." He agreed. "I'd even say gorgeous."

"You think I'm..." Reggie trailed off, shaking his head. "No, stop distracting me. This is important. I need to say this."

"Go for it, gorgeous." Luke prompted.

"I..." Reggie trailed off, his gaze drifting down to Luke's lips. Luke smirked.

"Cat got your tongue?" He teased. "Or something else?"

He licked his lips, and Reggie could feel his face going bright red.

"Luke, I-" Luke cut him off by pulling him in and connecting their lips roughly. Reggie gasped, eyes fluttering shut as he let Luke take the lead, controlling the kiss.

Luke's hands were everywhere, in Reggie's hair, running down his back, under Reggie's shirt, wrapped around his neck. It was as if Luke had 8 arms.

Reggie relaxed into the kiss, gaining a bit of confidence as he pushed Luke backwards, moving to straddle the older boy, their lips never once separating.

"Is this what you were trying to tell me?" Luke mumbled between kissed. Reggie hummed in response, not wanting to miss out on a second of making out with Luke.

Clearly Julie and Flynn were wrong. He didn't have to tell Luke.

Because Luke already knew.

[therappundit]

Top 10 Rappers of 2020

The finish line of this long, surreal year is finally upon us...which means that it’s time for me to throw down the gauntlet in the ‘Best of 2020’ frivolous list race!  🙌

*Just to be clear*: this is a list of MCs who I believe turned in the best overall performances in 2020. ***This is NOT a list of the my top 10 favorite MCs***, or even who I believe to be the best MCs in the world at the moment...these are simply dope artists that put forth the strongest, most consistently interesting and important (to the genre) high-quality work in the perilous year that was 2020. 

If you think your favorite MC was slighted....well, Michael Jordan is the greatest to ever play the game of basketball but even he didn’t win MVP every year, right? I encourage you to write your own list - it’s a cool way to dap artists that are too often overlooked by industry websites, and share the music you enjoy with others that may not have given the record a spin otherwise.

Even if 2020 didn’t bring you the “instant classic” you had been hoping for, I think it’s hard to deny that this year really had impressive depth when it came to showcasing some of the most diverse music that the genre has to offer.  I can’t speak for music in general - sadly I’m just The Rap Pundit, not The Music Pundit - but I can say that it has been an impossible task to keep a playlist less than 500 songs deep at a time, because for every truly great release in 2020 there seemed to be 30 very good releases. 👌

So how did I come about these 10 MCs (and Honorable Mentions)? Before you get huffy about who I snubbed (and that is pointed directly at my jury of older head peers that consider themselves tastemakers, but also haven’t opened their minds up to any new takes on rap styles since the year 2000)...here are the five chief pieces of criteria that I put into finalizing my list:

- quality (whatever lane you’re in, how often did you ‘own it’?)

- quantity (at least 10 very good-to-great songs released, and 3-4 verses that stand out as a ‘must-hear’ for any rap music fan)

- consistency (not just 4-5 great features and a few forgettable solo tracks, will I want to keep at least 7 or 8 of your own new songs released in 2020 in my rotation for 2021?)

- impact (are you so vital to the type of rap music you make that if you stopped rapping tomorrow, there’s no one else in the game that could fill that void?)

- “it” factor (are you carried by a co-sign or an elite production team, or did you bring a style/talent to the table that could carry a record in and of itself?)

Got it? Then here we go...

1. Conway the Machine

I hope 2020 was the type of year that Conway the Machine had been hoping for since he first began his journey with rap music. After years of scraping and hustling towards music industry recognition (and not just cult figure status), at year’s end we see Griselda’s top Lieutenant holding down a rare balancing act: champion of underground hip-hop, and most requested feature by any mainstream rap star looking to add some tough-talking muscle to their album.

While much of Conway’s content has always been driven by surviving an attempt on his life in 2012, much like 50 Cent, Conway’s way with words and perspective manage to elevate the quality of his material to a higher tier than most. And where - at least in his heyday - 50 Cent benefited from an indestructible super-villain persona, Conway’s success can be greatly attributed to a larger-than-life heart.  With every braggadocious act of gunplay, there are moments of gratefulness to still being alive to share success with his brethren, as well as a painful longing to be with close allies that are no longer with him (at least not in the physical form).

Above all else, in 2020 Conway the Machine did what he has always done throughout his career: delivered well written, passionate bars about coming up in an impossibly challenging environment and coping with loss...only now his craftsmanship and understanding of how to channel all of those feelings into a more polished final product have yielded the most well-rounded solo project of his career in From King to a God. Progress is a slow process, but the long and winding road has finally taken Conway a step closer to that G.O.A.T. status he will hopefully continue to reach for...

Best Evidence: FKTG, and a countless number of scene-stealing verses alongside rap acts ranging from deep underground to household names

2. Freddie Gibbs

I don't use the word "sauce" all too often (this may actually be the first time), but if there was any MC guaranteed to bring sauce to any rap record right now, it's Freddie Gibbs. 

Forever existing somewhere between gritty gangsta and syrupy old soul, the flavor that Freddie brings to every verse is malleable enough to work on virtually any type of record, which was certainly proven in 2020. Anyone foresee a Gibbs & Alchemist Grammy nomination heading into 2020? It’s a testament to how high quality work, through consistent reliability and dues paid, can elevate a project from underground niche following to critical acclaim. While his work with Alchemist may not reach the lofty levels of his heralded collaborations with Madlib, Alfredo represents the best that “quarantine music” can offer...two talented friends saying one day, “hey we should finally drop a full tape together, why not?” - and then BOOM, it happens.

Too many fail to remember that Gibbs already has a long accomplished body of work behind him...so the fact that he may just be entering his prime now, is scary.

Best Evidence: Alfredo, Machinedrum’s “Kane Train”

3. Boldy James

Comeback MC of the year, and no it is not close (but big shout-out to Grafh, another dope MC who had an amazing year).

I'm old enough to remember when folks like Roc Marciano and Ka were seen as sleepy, monotone rappers with little hope of reaching permanent rap icon status (flash-forward to today, and they are widely consider geniuses). For some, the quieter, less hook-dependent approach to making rap songs, was....well, not great rap music. They were wrong then and they’re wrong now, but similar to how the coolest, smartest cat in the room is rarely the loudest, it can take some time and patience before everyone learns what’s what. Time is what is required to appreciate Detroit’s Boldy James, a veteran that has been through it - both in terms of the ups and downs of the music business, as well as the streets through which he draws his stories and inspiration.

Boldy makes it seem all too easy, rapping his verses with the cool, casual tone of telling old stories to a close friend over drinks. Dropping multiple projects (with one still to come) in one year can often lead to over-saturation. Even the most dedicated fans/stans can begin to feel less enthusiastic about new releases when they have already received a healthy portion of more of the same...but most rap fans are not necessarily Boldy James fans. Boldy fans (much like Roc Marciano and Ka fans) are already aware that knowing what type of material to expect from your favorite MC can be a blessing if that MC takes pride in the execution of the final product, rather than the noise leading up to it. 

The beauty of his collaboration with The Alchemist (big year for that guy, huh?), The Price of Tea in China, is that it celebrates the more subtle nuances of boom-bap, proving that great MC and producer chemistry can trump the “shock & awe” of more uptempo rap music. The shock in Boldy James’ lyrics sits within the detailed descriptions of the cold world he grew up in...so monotone or not, how can any music could be more gripping than that?

Best Evidence: TPOTIC, Manger On McNichols, a long list of consistently perfect feature verses

4. 42 Dugg

I would say this is more of a longterm investment rather than the celebration of a rapper already within rap’s inner circle, but 42 Dugg didn’t just steal the show on every feature this year, he also displayed maturity in his ability to craft well-rounded, high quality rap singles. I’m talking joints that work just as well on the street tape level as they would at the radio level. That is especially rare to see from a rapper that is still relatively new to national conversations. 

So much more than just a co-sign of Lil Baby and Yo Gotti, the Detroit eastsider has already proven that he can craft a full solo album with the swagger of a far more seasoned MC. 42 Dugg combines a Boosie-esque, "oh you think you’re better than me??” chip on his shoulder with the unpredictable bombast of Lil Wayne. What he may lack in punchlines he makes up for in musicianship, his voice bringing one of the most nimble touches to trap music that I have heard in a long time. 42 Dugg music is hard and soulful, with the natural hunger of a rapper that knows me might be one smash away from superstardom. By this time next year, I’m betting he will be. 

Best Evidence: Young & Turnt 2 (Deluxe), features on high profile records like Lil Baby’s “Grace” and “We Paid”, and a growing stream of attention grabbing solo loosies

5. Rome Streetz

In 2020 it was almost impossible to be an underground MC with a great project unless you landed a Rome Streetz verse. 

Rome has been bubbling for a while now, but in 2020 he unleashed an onslaught on the game. At times he seemed like the hardest working MC in underground circles, busting his ass to not only make as many appearances as possible, but also to own any song he guested on. He raps like every verse might be “the one” that gets him a huge contract, and that’s a level of hunger and consistency that will likely land him more than one huge contract someday. In spite of that laundry list of strong features, the young Brooklyn MC still managed to release multiple dope solo projects, all flashing a rap style that feels at once a throwback and the fresh voice NYC rap needs. 

Rome is clearly from the same school as many of the New York City greats, because he has the capacity to deliver dark, potent bars with the sharp intellect of a Harvard lecture (think AZ before “Sugar Hill”). While he sounds most at home when he’s rhyming over instrumentals that run more coldblooded than a horror flick, it’s easy to picture him popping up in more places in 2021...if that’s even possible.

Best Evidence: Noise Kandy 4, Kontraband, The Residue, and at least 50 incredible features with a who’s-who of the underground’s finest

6. Stove God Cook$

No one saw this coming....well, maybe Roc Marciano, Lord Jamar, Busta Rhymes and a few more NYC heads in the know - but I guarantee you, no one else saw the Stove God coming!

Bar for bar, no MC owned more rewind-worthy rap quotables in 2020 than Stove God Cook$. Dropping a solo debut with VERY little fanfare and zero features (apart from the steady, reliable guidance of Roc Marciano - low key one of hip-hop’s most reliable producers), a slow bubbling word of mouth campaign on social media eventually got Stove God verses exposed to more and more high profile ears. Such a grass roots campaign is rarely seen...I mean, a rap album slowly becoming a critical darling simply off the strength of more and more random folks discovering the music and Tweeting about it, as opposed to the buzz being calculated before the product??? It feels almost too good to be true these days, as early reviews of Reasonable Drought typically lead with something along the lines of, “hey, have you heard of this album? I have no idea who this is, but it is 🔥🔥🔥”

It has often been said that Roc Marciano has a lot of “sons” in the game, implying that Roc Marci gave birth to a style that a whole generation of underground MCs run with today. So it’s ironic (or perhaps highly appropriate?) that the next level of progression for Roc might be to have a protege, a young Jedi to carry on the tradition on Roc’s own terms, and become the next new star to be embraced by the old heads. But Stove God isn’t a clone of Roc, or anyone else, he’s simply one of the most exciting artists to hit the NYC underground in a generation. Everything from his word choice, to his fresh references and sense of humor, to his delivery and the way he structures his verses, feels like a collection of “firsts”, there’s simply no one sounding like him. And if his work in 2020 is any indication, he will continue to be in a league of his own for years to come.

Best Evidence: Reasonable Drought, spotlight snatching features alongside Roc Marciano and Griselda’s finest

7. Lil Baby

Once viewed by some as just another “Lil”, Lil Baby had been rollin’ coming into 2020, but by the end of 2020 it’s clear that he has arrived at the forefront of rap music’s most reliable hitmakers right now. 

A must-have feature on any rap album reaching for max exposure, Lil Baby’s dexterous flow, charisma, and pen that is significantly sharper than early reports indicated, made him one of the few shining stars in 2020 to consistently deliver good rap music to what in any other year would have been considered smash hits in any club.

What makes Lil Baby’s music standout is that he could easily be a “cookie cutter” MC, phoning in verse after verse just to get another check, but instead he continues to bring it - trying to squeeze in an extra catchy lyric, maybe flow in a way that breaks up a verse to make it stand out from the pack a little more - and even when he is featured over cookie cutter beats that sound like every other trap inspired beats that came before it, Baby seems eager to prove something. I think that’s what I like about him - he’s on a short list of mainstream-bred Young Thug disciples that seem to really want to put the work in to becoming one of the greats. 

Best Evidence: I mean...did any rap star have more songs in circulation this year? Dude was everywhere, but “The Bigger Picture” got his name officially into the lyricist conversation (even though personally I don’t even think it’s one of his more impressive records - at least not stylistically)

8. Westside Gunn

No one denies that the Griselda Records team had a banner year, yet somehow the vocal leader of the group managed to drop a handful of dope projects without receiving credit for being a great MC in his own right. Great artist, great album curator, great business man - sure, but great MC?? That credit is rarely given to the FLYGOD. He might not even understand how natural he is as a solo MC, waxing unpredictable flows and half-bars that stick in your mind in place of catchy hooks or predictable song structure. He might call himself an artist first, but I still call him one of the most prolific rappers today (regardless of whether he retires after the ball drops).

I can’t believe I have to tell rap fans this in the year 2020...but......you all know that message and punchlines are just part of the art of rapping, right...and not the only thing that defines who is a dope MC and who isn’t?? Play any solo cut from Westside Gunn and filter out the “doot-doot-doots” and stream of conscious hooks and what you are left with is one of the most distinctive voices in rap music, attempting off-kilter flows and phrases over some of the most impressive production in rap music today, and to me that sounds like my kind of rap music. What the Buffalo floor general lacks in diversity of subject matter he makes up for with a relentless imagination.

That’s why it’s not all that surprising to me that Westside Gunn enjoyed more mainstream attention in 2020 than he ever has before. All he needed was a window of exposure and he certainly capitalized on it, pitching his sound and his vision in all the right places, without compromising his style or vacating his lane. So strictly as a MC, I would consider him the Young Thug of the east coast underground scene, and if 2020 does turn out to be his final year of recording solo projects, I am thankful that he already has a long list of quality projects with high replay value to revisit again and again. But don’t wait - give this man his flowers now.

Best Evidence: “Euro Step”, “Rebirth”, “327″, “Shawn vs. Flair”, “Michael Irvin”, and YES he even had a more than worthy verse on “$500 Ounces” alongside Freddie Gibbs and Roc Marciano

9. Benny the Butcher

Who else is more reliable to deliver a dope feature verse than Benny?

By now you must be muttering at least a few things about me, so let me just make two points: YES, I am a big fan of Griselda records, but NO I do not consider that an unreasonable bias because even on paper according to a large variety of sources, it’s clear that Conway, Boldy James, Westside Gunn and Benny are true specialists when it comes to the quality of the work they distribute. Its not a fluke or a trend, they’re just that good at what they do...I have been saying this for almost 5 years now, but in 2020 the rest of you sleepy heads finally just stopped hitting snooze.

Benny the Butcher already possesses the writing capacity, attention to detail, and skills of observation/personal reflection to put himself within special company as one of the nicest pens in the business today. But in 2020, he dialed things up even higher...or perhaps word of mouth just finally caught up with the rest of his peers? The tribute to the classic Roc-A-Fella era that was his Burden of Proof project with Hit-Boy helped expose Benny to a much larger audience, and it has been beautiful to see so many more folks quoting and sharing his lyrics on Twitter, because I recall when he had about the same amount of Followers that I do, because it wasn’t all that long ago (I just hope they go back to experience all of his prior work - I’m still partial to his incredible verses on “Shower Shoe Lords” and “Pissy Work”)! 

In my not so humble opinion, I do think some of the more dramatic pomp and circumstance on the BOP album was more suited to a Rick Ross or Meek Mill than Benny, so I’m actually more excited to hear what Benny has in store for 2021. He truly sounds at his best over more minimalistic production that lets his lyrics fill the spotlight...but still, tracks like “Timeless” and “Legend” do remind me of some of my favorite moments from old JAY-Z albums...blasphemous, maybe, but true.

A shot to the leg last month seems to have done nothing to slow his momentum, so if you didn’t board the bandwagon by now, you are inexcusably late.

Best Evidence: Burden of Proof, mercilessly slaughtering every verse on every Griselda projects, and a ton of show-stealing features

10. Drakeo the Ruler

What a journey it's been for the L.A. rising star. 

Flexing a penchant for placing local slang into his music and delivering dark verses with a clear sense of humor, it's easy to see the appeal of Drakeo's style. If Thank You For Using GTL was an inspiring attempt to do anything possible to keep his buzz going (in that case, recording his verses over a prison phone), the quick release of We Know The Truth shortly after he regained his freedom seems to have given him a 50 Cent-esque teflon aura at the moment. 

But this is about more than just Drakeo himself, it’s about what he represented before incarceration, and what he represents now. As one of the more visible forces in a new generation of west coast hip-hop, Drakeo was a few key features away from exploding onto the national scene. Now after surviving his ordeal, likely with a great deal more to write about, his ceiling has only been raised - and along with his growth potential, so rises the potential for the current rap scene out in L.A. right now. Mark my words: by this time next year Drakeo’s flow will be one of the most flagrantly jacked flows in rap music coast to coast.

A sincere welcome home from the rap world, Drakeo the Ruler. Hopefully the worst is now behind you. 🙏

Best Evidence: We Know The Truth, Free Drakeo, Thank You For Using GTL

*Honorable Mentions*:

Che Noir, Ka, Ransom, Billy Woods, Royce Da 5′9″, Jay Electronica, Fly Anakin, Curren$y, Lil Uzi Vert, Roc Marciano, Skyzoo, Black Thought, Tee Grizzley, Your Old Droog, Flee Lord, Lil Wayne

[swiftpng]

Happy holidays! I wanted to celebrate some of the people I love for inspiring me and filling my life with so much light. Every single one of you has made my year so special and I appreciate you all so much. Thank you for every conversation, for every laugh, for blessing my life with your presence. Any act of kindness is permanently stored in this tiny brain forever! To everyone, I wish you all a very happy holiday! PART ONE.

DELTA, @deltslea

You know me, I get super cheesy whenever I’m writing sentimental letters. The first part of your gift is your actual Christmas gifts and the second part of your gift is what I got you for your birthday, since I didn’t get the chance to give you them when it was your birthday! I hope you don’t mind the two for one, but I hope you and your family are having a happy and cozy holiday. I hope you find joy in these gifts, because you’re such a sweet soul and deserve to be treated that way. You’re a total blessing to the Bayview community. Your personality shines and you bring so much happiness to the world. Thank you for everything and for going out of your way to make this town such a home for everyone. You always lift others up when they’re feeling down, you’re a total gem. You are so appreciated. Also, congrats for everything you did this past year! You did so much and all the hard work didn’t go unnoticed. You should be so proud of yourself for everything you accomplished. I hope all of your wildest dreams come true. Remember that you can do anything you put your mind to, I’m so excited for what the next year has to offer for you. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year! 

Let’s get started on why I got you each gift. The first gift are mini rings that reminded me of your song Wings. I really love the lyrics of that song, so I got something that kind of showed my appreciation for it! I got you a cute backpack that you can take on your travels, wherever that may be next. I know the town goes on trips throughout the year, so I thought it would be something that would be useful to you! The next gift is more of a funny gift since it has a cat playing the piano. Who doesn’t love a good cat mug, you know? I hope it brings a smile to your face whenever you use it! The next gift is a little bit of a big one, but you worked so hard this year on The Voice, on your singles, on your Christmas albums, on everything. I rented out a tiny house for you for three days, so you can sit back and relax. Now since there’s a town trip coming up and there’s the trip up to Snow Tracks, you don’t have to take the mini vacation to the tiny home right away. You can let them know when you’d like to take your trip and they’ll book you for it! You can bring a friend or your love or you can just go by yourself. Whatever you decide is up to you since it’s your gift! Another one of these gifts is also related to self care and relaxing. I got you some incense sticks that you can use whenever you need to. The scent is Christmas Kiss since you’re now dubbed (by me) as the Christmas Queen. This next gift is something we’ve talked about. Remember the heart in the glass? I thought it’d be cool if we tried to actually recreate one. Zach was really sweet with connecting me to people who would know where to get everything to make it. Some of it comes with Christmas related tools, but the basics we need to make the heart glass are all there! The last part of your Christmas gift is a candle that’s called Soul Sister. From the day we met, I thought our similarities were uncanny and funny. It’s crazy how met here in town and it was like you were my sister from then on. The gingerbread incident solidified that even more!

Now for your belated birthday gifts, I got you a nail polish set that’s called When In Romance which sounds fitting for a woman in love. The set comes with six polishes, along with some nail stickers. The next gift is related to memories. You’re someone I know who always makes the best of any situation, so I thought getting you a Polaroid camera would be something fun. You can take it on trips, around town, or keep it at home for whenever you feel the need to capture something on film forever. The next gift is related to self care and looking after yourself. It’s a calming clay mask that you can do whenever you want to sit down and relax. The next gift is a set of small and dainty jewelry. I was strolling around some shops in town and I saw these displayed. The collection is called Twin Soul, which I thought was very fitting for us! Another thing I got you is just a fun game. It’s meant for kids, but it looked like it could fun for adults as well. I know you’ve got some kids in your family, so you can break it out whenever they’re in town! I got you some knee high cat socks ‘cause everyone loves socks! Plus the cats are an added bonus. Another cozy gift I got you is this soft throw blanket that should cure your coldness from the harsh winter nights. You can cozy up next to a fire or a candle with a book and be warm. Last but not least, I got you a book that’s called Booze & Vinyl. It’s a book that guides you through the best drinks to have with certain records. It seemed right up your alley, and I thought it would be a fun and easy read! Overall, thank you for being one of the truest allies in my life and being such a great person. I’m so lucky to have someone like you in my life, and I hope all of these gifts serve you well. 

BLAKE, @thelivelyblake

Thank you for all that you have done for me in our friendship. You’re amazing and one of the people I cherish the most, so I got you a few things to show how much you mean to me. I hope some of these gifts bring a smile to your face. I’m wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas, along with health and happiness. 

I’ve been very into making soaps these days, so I made you some soaps that you can use to your discretion! In the shower, after you go to the bathroom, whenever you need to. The next gift happens to be socks. Everyone needs some fuzzy socks, especially when it’s cold out so these should help your feet stay warm! Another gift is something I saw at one of the shops in town, and I thought it would look so amazing on you. It’s a baby blue dress that you can wear at events or wherever. The next gift is a candle, one that you can burn when you need something to make the house feel warm and cozy. I also got you a tea set that has some delicious teas. Nothing’s better than winding down from a long day with a mug of tea. The last gift is a planner. It has a quote on it that reminded me of you and I really thought it would be useful to you! Again, I just want to thank you for being a great friend and someone I can always count on. 

ANGELINA, @ajdarkfae

I’m wishing you a very Merry Christmas. I hope the festiveness and happiness continues throughout the new year for your family. I feel like December snuck up on us so quickly, and I’m scrambling to soak up the Christmas spirit. I’m grateful that I’m able to send some of my Christmas spirit over to you with these gifts. You’re someone I’ve always admired, and I’m so happy that we’re as close as we are. Thank you so much for everything and for trusting me, it means so much. I really adore you and your family. I’m so happy we’re able to connect through this town. I hope you have a good Christmas. 

The first gift I got you is one I found when I was walking through Around the World. It’s Swedish cookies, and they looked like they’re super delicious and I thought you would like them. The second gift is a funny T-shirt since we both mentioned that Let It Go had been suck in our heads at one point or another. It reads, “when my jam comes on and I know all the words” with a picture of Elsa. The next gift should be something fun for you and the kids. It’s a popcorn kit that should be fun to break out on your next family movie date! Along with that, I got you a gift set from Bath & Body Works. I’m a huge fan of theirs, so I thought you’d enjoy something that would be useful for when you want to smell good or want hands that aren’t dry. Another one of these gifts are chocolate strawberries. I saw them in town being displayed, so I knew I had to get them for you. The next gift is a gift card to Vin Rouge, which happens to be my favorite place to get wine. I’ve gotten so many bottles of wine this past year from there, and they never miss. You’re also supporting a local business when you shop there! Lastly, I wanted to get you something for when you need to relax. With a baby on the way, I know you’re bound to need some days for when you just need to be alone and enjoy your own company. I got you a bath bomb that you can use whenever you need to just slow down. It’s one of my favorites, so i hope it’s something that you will enjoy. Thank you again for being so wonderful to me, and I’m sending you all my love this holiday. 

SELENA, @sxgomez

Hello, hello, hello. I’m beyond excited to give you something this Christmas as I know that it’s been a hard past few weeks for you. I’m loving the chance to get to spoil you the way you continue to spoil others with your magical presence. It’s always fun getting to get you gifts, and I tried capturing your essence. Hopefully I did you justice. I got you a few things that totally reminded me of you and our friendship. Congratulations on all of your accomplishments this year. From Rare being released to Rare Beauty being the next beauty empire, you are naturally you and that’s why so much of us love you. Who knew one human could have such a big heart? Thanks for making 2020 amazing, and I can’t wait for what 2021 brings you for your career. In addition to that, Selena, I know some big things have happened to you personally with moving and having a breakup so I wanted to get you a few things to help soothe the ache. I love you to the moon and back, and I’m hoping you have the sweetest holiday. You deserve it so, so much. 

The first part of your gift is an outfit that screamed Selena Gomez. I got you a Disney related T-shirt. And it has some jeans that go along with it. Being is Disney kid, I know you’re proud of where you started your career so I though this outfit would be perfect to show off your roots. The next gift is a pillow that reminded me of you. You sprout color from who you are and I know you make people’s lives better just by existing. I know you sure make mine better. Since you had your cooking show this year, I thought it was only fitting that I got you something for your kitchen. I got you a heart shaped pot that you can use for soups and stews. As someone who is a big fan of candles, I got you a candle that you can light whenever you need to sit and relax. The scent smelled so good and I hope you enjoy it. The next gift is a key chain that reminds me of our friendship. Friends truly are chosen family, and I know I’d choose you again and again. And along with that, I know you’re moving into a new place so I thought I’d get you a gift card to Windsong. Zach is a good friend of mine, so I know he’ll get you anything you wanted. Whether you want to get something custom made or something that they have in store already, I know you’re bound to find something you love. The last three gifts are ones to help mend your heartbreak. I made you some donuts that you’ll be able to chow down on. No one loves food more than you, so I thought it would be a well loved gift. Another thing is a bracelet, which represents a new and clean slate. Going into the next year, you’re able to start fresh and I know you’ll be able to do it. Lastly, I got you some cozy slippers that you’ll be able to lounge in. Since it’s the colder months, I’m sure you’ll be able to get some use from them! All in all, I really do hope you’ve had a lovely holiday and that it was spent with people who love you so much. I know I do. 

BILL, @skarsgardb

Thank you for being one of the coolest people I know. Since the day we met, I knew you were going to be someone I could always talk to and spend quality time with. Whether we talk for hours on end or go days without talking, I know that we’ll always fall back into our friendship. Some of these gifts were from your birthday and I didn’t get the chance to give them to you because so much time has passed since then. Christmas is the perfect time to give you them now. You’re one of the most loyal people in town, and I appreciate you so much. I hope you and your family had the best holiday, and I’m sending you all the love.

The first gift is a T-shirt relating to tacos. You were one of the first people who recommended Paco’s to me when I first arrived in town, and I can’t thank you enough for that. The second gift is a Fitbit watch since I know you’re into running, hiking, etc. It can track your steps and all that jazz. I thought it would be fun for you to have and could be useful next time you go out. (Which maybe wouldn’t be soon since it is so col out!) Another gift I got you is one of my favorite cookbooks. Since you’re a foodie like me and want to learn how to better your cooking skills, I thought gifting you this book would be appropriate. It has so many great recipies that you can try out! The next gift is something I made personally. It’s my homemade cinnamon stix. They’re made with my secret recipe and if you like them enough, I might teach everyone how to make them when my class starts back up in the new year! Remember how we talked about Go-Pros and being recorded while ziplining? I thought it would be fun to actually give you a Go-Pro that you can use whenever. Maybe you can record something of Dylan when she’s being cute or just use it when you need to document something! The other gift I wanted to give you is a subscription to Masterclass. I remember we talked about you starting your own production company and wanting to dip your toes into a role that’s more behind the camera. They have so many classes about producing, directing... the whole nine yards. I hope it’s useful to you and that you can take something from it! My personal favorite class is RuPaul’s. Lastly, I wanted to give you a book full of actual dad jokes. Perhaps you can use them with Dylan or just use it as a party trick. Either way, you’re bound to be laughed at! But in the best way, I promise. Again, thank you for being you and I enjoy your friendship with my whole heart. 

ZACH, @roerigz​

I know we don’t talk as much as we used to, but I do know that I’m still thankful to have someone like you in my life. I know that this past year has been a little hard on you, so I wanted to give you some gifts that would put a smile to your face. Admittedly, for the first gift, I had to Google your hometown. I knew you were from Ohio, but I needed to know the exact town so I could make your hometown into a puzzle. Whenever you’re missing home, you can break out this puzzle and remember the streets you used to roam and the family you still have there. Another gift I got you is a throw blanket. I’m a huge fan of these, especially during the winter months. Hopefully it’ll keep you cozy! One of these gifts is for you and your kids. It’s a tie-dye kit so you guys can make T-shirts. I used to make them with my family when I was younger and it was always a fun memory. The next gift is more for your self care. I don’t know how often you grow a beard, but when you do, you’ll have the tools you need to trim it or shave it off. Now the last gift is for your inner Ohio State fan. They’re salt and pepper shakers, and I think they’ll make a good addition to your kitchen! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and I’m sending you all my support and love. 

MILEY, @destinyhcpe​

So, you’ve had quite the year! Between your album releasing and moving to Bayview, I think you had a pretty good year! Not to mention that we’ve gotten closer again, which makes me so happy! I’m hoping that you have a very Merry Christmas and that Santa gives you everything you wanted. The first gift I got you is a smiley face bag, because it just reminded me of you so much. The next gift is a bottle of Chambord. I don’t know if you drink or not, but I thought it would fun to gift you this has a celebration of your music this year! Now this last gift is a little NSFW, but I thought you’d rock this leather jacket so well! It comes from a small shop back in NYC and it just looked so cool. If anyone were to wear this out and about, I think it’d be you! Miley, thank you for always being so supportive and sweet to me. You have no idea how much it means to me! 

ARIANA, @gvande​

The literal princess in my life. Ariana, thank you for all the kind words you’ve said to me in our past conversations. They mean so much to me, you have no idea. I wanted to get some gifts that reminded me of you, so I hope they captured your personality! I got you a candle since it’s the season for burning them at all times. The scent is absolutely wonderful, and I hope you enjoy it too. Because taking care of yourself should always be a priority, I wanted to gift you a kit that has some things for when you need to relax. The next gift is because of your Harry Potter love. I saw that Ulta had a Harry Potter collection, so I knew I had to get you that. Hopefully you can play around with it and create some epic looks! Another gift I had to get you is some pig slippers. Since you’re someone who owns a pig, I wanted to give you these. Lastly, you’re someone who makes tattoos look so good. I wanted to get you something related to tattoos, so I thought giving you an actual stick and poke kit would be something you’d be interested in! Again, just thank you for being the best person to ever exist and knowing my situation. I know you’re someone who has my back, and I always have yours. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and that you’re able to be with your loved ones. 

[yeocult]

with the moon | k.hj

genre: comfort

wc: 1.2k words

song: our last dream - dpr

synopsis: through the lens of an artist’s journey to heal

blank.

if seeing nothing was possible, it would be his canvas. the canvas that hongjoong was so excited to paint on. it was on the larger scale, not used to what he would normally paint on but he thought switching things up for a little challenge wouldn’t be so bad once in a while. obviously, he had overestimated his skills as a painter. but was being overly confident bad? or maybe he just wasn’t good to begin with?

he didn’t know why or how, but he could sense the canvas judging him as he sat on his stool for the past three hours accomplishing nothing. he felt so small and worthless. the artist found the large white surface to be intimidating, not knowing where or how to start it.

“why? why am i afraid?”

in a matter of seconds, all of his ideas and inspirations start to fly away, leaving him alone in his studio. the paint tubes no longer flashed colours and the scented candles no longer filled the room with its fragrance. he’s all alone.

paintbrushes started to feel heavier, exhausting his arm and the colours he mixed strained his eyes. he ditched the canvas, it’s not like he would achieve much by blankly staring at it. although sometimes he believed that if he thinks about painting, he would eventually start to do it. of course, that was just one of his many senseless ways of procrastinating. because deep down, he was afraid of not doing enough. he had nobody to blame but himself.

next thing hongjoong knew, he was walking down the streets, wandering off to who knows where, just anywhere but in his dull studio that was so occupied it made him feel nothing but empty. it’s like his feet were dying to get him out of that room, and he was thankful for it. because now, inhaling fresh air never felt so much better. 

city life. hongjoong loved it here. every time he sets foot out of his apartment, which is less than he’d like to admit, it gives him the exact feeling of moving to a new city. wanting to explore every inch of this city that he calls home. he loved the buskers who have a desire to showcase their talents. he was fond of the stray cats that wander without a care in this hectic world. the business workers who are constantly distracted by the phone yet still manage to work their way through crowds effortlessly. he admires the new couples who moved across from him for a fresh start. he appreciates the bold graffiti art on the side of the buildings that adds a little more personality to this place he calls home.

it was that time of the day where all the workers ride the train home. when the students leave the library and head back to their rooms to cram in more hours of studying. when couples go claim their reservations for a date that they both been looking forward to. when lost artists including himself roam the streets, looking left to right for any spect of inspiration. if he was lucky, there could be a slight chance he could paint like before again.

nothing was easy, especially when hongjoong was forcing himself to create. he always had this workaholic mindset that he was glad but at the same time, he wasn’t so proud of it. sure, creating fantastic art was amazing. he was afraid that if he wasn’t careful, this workflow would reach a dead end and he would no longer be able to paint like before. he had to keep his train running at all times, not stopping even if he was low on gas. he thought, “who am i if i don’t create? what’s my value?” it was nothing but a constant cycle of self-sabotage.

an artist without art is nothing.

the sudden buzz in this pocket interrupted his negative thoughts. his phone was out of battery, he sighed at the deadweight in his pocket. he took this opportunity to fully live without distractions from his phone. disconnect to connect. he took a deep breath, letting the refreshing air in and out. 

for the first time in what seems like forever, hongjoong wasn’t worried about creating. his mind wasn’t forcing himself to think of new ideas. his eyes weren’t frantically looking for inspiration. instead, his vision was focused on the bright neon lights that made the bars more lively and his mind was thinking about what places he wishes to explore. he was at ease.

his nose travelled to the nearest restaurant that overflowed the streets with its delightful aroma. the bell chimed at his entrance. without a care, he sat alone at a booth and ordered the first meal his finger pointed at. a heartwarming meal that couldn’t compare to the cheap convenience food he’s been feeding on the past weeks. hongjoong enjoyed the food along with the company of passing strangers and soothing jazz music.

his ears brought him to the singer on the street whose voice he immediately fell in love with. getting lost in the large audience surrounding the vocalist, he clapped his hands song after song. a broad smile never leaving his face while the voice whirled and danced around his ears. occasionally humming and mouthing the lyrics as he tapped his feet to the beat. he emerge this cheers and praise along with the crowd.

leaving the scene when his eyes sought out a cat. his eyes made him chase after a cat he felt a connection as if he already saw it before. he didn’t know why or where. with a jolt of adrenaline, his feet sprinted after the cat. his feet were racing faster than his mind. letting the cool air dance through his hair, lifting his hair up and exposing his forehead. letting his feet pound across the ground, it quickly leads him to a larger group of stray cats behind some building downtown and he slowed down his pace. “are you lost like me too?” he spoke softly to the cat. “i don't know the way, i'm like an alley cat.”

dusk. before hongjoong knew it, the sun left him. he was alone for a split second until the moon comforted him. hongjoong was attached to the moon, he preferred sunsets to sunrises. he found solace in the moon during late nights when he was all alone. the moon encouraged him to work harder during the nights where he was up past midnight working on a project. but it also reminded him to rest and sleep before it leaves him in the morning. before the sun is rising up.

hongjoong was an optimist and a hard worker. it was a poison to his health but an antidote for his art career. however, he reminds himself that he’s human before an artist. maybe soon the paint tubes will embrace him with their vibrant colours, the intimidating canvas will welcome him back to the studio, and the scented candles will once again bring life around him with its fragrance. he thought, “maybe i’m not afraid.”

so after his tedious journey for motivation, he did the one thing he should’ve done in the first place; rest.

-

"you're wonderful. there's no need to rush. please take your time to polish your talent." — whisper of the heart (1995) dir. yoshifumi kondō

[tommynikkivincemick]

three way call — part 9

Summary: Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx find themselves in the frustrating predicament of being infatuated with the same woman. This calls for a competition.

Author’s note: What’s up fuckers, it’s been a minute! Sorry for the long hiatus, but shit’s been fucked! But now I’m back and will hopefully be writing more. This will probably be the last chapter of three way call, but I’ll totally write an epilogue if y’all would like one. Also sorry if I forgot anyone on the tag list, I haven’t been keeping up with requests very well. Sincerest apologies. Enjoy.

Warnings: Language, alcohol, mild violence, the usual.

Over the following weeks, Tommy, Y/N, and Nikki became inseparable and the Terror Twins became the Terror Triplets. The trio would constantly be touching, kissing, cuddling, sitting on top of each other, or excusing themselves to go have sex. They knew how each other member of the throuple liked their coffee and what kind of cigarettes they smoked, how they tossed and turned in bed, their preferred brands of beer, and what toppings they liked on their pizza. Y/N knew that Nikki didn’t think Crown Royal was worth the money as far as whiskeys went and that Tommy preferred sativa over indica because it didn’t make him feel as hazy. Nikki knew that Tommy didn’t like cheap vodka when doing shots because he’d thrown it up so many times before and he knew that when Y/N made the coffee, it somehow tasted better despite being made the exact same way by everybody. Tommy knew that Y/N only used Sally Hansen nail polish and owned every shade of red ever made, or so it seemed, and that Nikki only burned dragon’s blood incense, only from this weird little hole in the wall shop downtown.

To Vince and Mick, the closeness was nauseating. Vince was tired of fourth wheeling in his own home and tired of being kept up all night and some of the morning by “Oh Tommy, oh Nikki, oh Y/N,” and the pounding of the headboard on the wall. The most blissful times were when Y/N was at work or the trio decided to spend the night at her apartment instead. However, when Y/N was away, the boys had begun to play, testing boundaries romantically and in the bedroom at all hours of the day. Even band practice has changed; Nikki with his perfectionist tendencies harped on Vince and Mick as usual but suddenly everything Tommy did was perfect. In Tommy’s eyes everything should be dialed back a bit, unless it was his drumming or Nikki’s bass.

“I’m so sick to death of those three,” Mick said one day while the Twins were visiting their third at work.

“Oh, shut up, you don’t even live with them! They’re so far up each other’s asses, you can’t even tell where one ends and the others begin at this point,” Vince bitched.

“Don’t get me wrong, Y/N is great, and I’m glad they’re all happy, but when it affects the band is when I draw the line.”

“I know! Nikki and Tommy have been skipping practices and they’re god damned lucky all of our gigs have gone smoothly. I mean, hell; Sixx is supposed to be the leader of this band and who was it that had to call back that Zutaut guy about scheduling a meeting with those record exec guys? Fucking me! I mean, we call Nikki the leader, we call Y/N our manager, and Tommy’s the second in command, so they need to start fucking acting like it if we’re gonna score this record deal.”

“Should we break them up?” Mick asked, a devious sparkle in his eye.

“Absolutely not. Good material has been flowing from Nikki like fucking water; have you read the lyrics for new piece? ‘Looks That Kill’, or whatever? It’s bitchin’, and I don’t even care that it’s about Y/N. He told me what he wants for the instrumentals and it’s gonna be awesome, the whole next album will be.” Vince gushed.

“They’ll tire themselves out eventually,” Mick sighed, “Until then, we suffer, and also tell them to get their shit together.”

Meanwhile at the record store, Y/N swore she was about to throw her lovers out of the store.

“When’s your lunch break?”

“When does your shift end?”

“We miss you!”

“Just close the store for a little while, we won’t tell...”

“Yeah, come on, baby, live a little!”

She loved Tommy and Nikki— really she did— but today they were making her want to tear her fucking hair out. The Twins were especially needy today and it seemed like their whining and pleading wouldn’t ever stop.

“Guys, you’re gonna get me fired, stop it!” She hissed, slapping Tommy’s hand off of her ass.

“Your boss is never even here! Nine times out of ten, you’re the only one working in here,” Nikki reminded, taking another cherry sucker from the bowl on the counter, and watching as Tommy slid behind her again.

“Yeah, but there’s customers here and sometimes the owner’s son comes by to check in and... and...” Her eyelids fluttered and her train of thought went off the tracks as Tommy began kissing her neck and nibbling her earlobe to distract her, “Tommy! I’m gonna slap you in the face if you don’t stop it!”

“But don’t you like it?” He whispered.

“I love it, that’s the problem. You two go home and I’ll see you in an hour for lunch, yeah? I’ll even call in sick for the rest of the day and have what’s-her-name cover for me.”

“Fine,” Nikki pouted, “You promise?”

“I promise, lover,” She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him gently, “But I promise nothing if you two don’t get out and let me get some work done.”

“C’mon, Sixx,” Tommy huffed and leaned down to give Y/N a kiss on the cheek, “See ya later, sweet thing.”

“Later, babes,” She smiled and waved goodbye as they left at last.

She sighed a sigh of deep relief and sank into her chair that sat behind the register. Finally she could take a breather and get some work done. Then the phone rang.

“Mötley residence, Mick speaking, can I please speak to Y/N?”

“Black Cat Records, Y/N speaking, what’s up, man?” She greeted.

“Are the boys still there?”

“Nope, just left. Why, did you need something?”

“No, no. They’ll be home soon enough, I’m sure. We’re having a band meeting later, though, and you need to be there, too.”

“Yeah, got it. Good news or bad news?”

“Little of both. Well, little bad, lot of good.”

“Okay, I’ll be off in a little under two hours and I told the boys I’d call in for the rest of the afternoon. See ya later, Mars man.”

“See ya later, Terror Triplet.”

She chuckled at the name and hung up. As she stuck price labels on a new shipment of records, she wondered what the news could be. The rest of the morning drug on slowly with few customers and boring music on the radio. No Mötley Crüe, that’s for sure. Finally, it was time for the lunch break. Y/N made a quick call before she left.

“Hey, Sylvia? Can you cover me this afternoon? Yeah, yeah, band stuff, you know. Yeah, I’ll tell the boys you said hello. Thanks, hun, I owe you one.”

She was lucky her coworker picked up and was even luckier she agreed to cover her. Even though her boys annoyed her, she still couldn’t wait to go home to them. Y/N was also anxious about Mick’s news. There was so much on her mind that she couldn’t even pay attention to the Blondie song that was on the radio as she drove to the Mötley residence. She climbed through the window of the apartment to find all of the boys laying around the living room in various states of undress.

“Why are you all half naked?” She snickered.

“It’s hot as balls, babe. Our AC broke, I think,” Tommy whined.

“Did you hit it?”

“A little,” Vince sighed, “It didn’t help.”

Y/N hummed to herself and went to the other window, kicking the air conditioning unit as hard as she could, to no avail.

“Damn, that usually works. Oh well, is there cold drinks in the fridge?”

“Yeah, Vinnie went grocery shopping today. We got beer, Diet Coke, bitchy wine cooler things, and some other shit,” Nikki replied, fanning himself with a random piece of sheet music.

She kicked off her shoes and shirt and grabbed a Coke from the fridge, sitting on the floor between Nikki’s legs and leaning her head on his thigh.

“Why are you wearing these leather pants, babe? Aren’t they hot?”

“Fashion before function, sweetheart,” The bassist shrugged.

“So Mick,” Tommy piped up, “What’s your big news?”

The guitarist sat up in his chair, and cleared his throat.

“Good news first. Do you guys remember that Zutaut kid?”

“Dorky rugby shirt?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah, that’s the one. He talked it over with Electra and called today saying they want to sign us as soon as possible.”

The boys and Y/N erupted in a chorus of whoops and hell-yeahs.

“So what’s the bad news? I don’t think anything can sting after that,” Nikki grinned.

Vince shifted uncomfortably before addressing the rhythm section and their lady love.

“Nikki, Tommy, Y/N, let me start by saying we love that you guys are happy together. But me and Mick feel that you’re letting this relationship consume you a little too much. Nikki, you’ve been letting Tommy get away with murder during practices. Tommy, you’re going soft with Sixx and Y/N, man. And Y/N, you’re our manager, but you’ve been devoting more of your time to the guys than the band as a whole. You should have been the one to talk to Electra and tell us we’re getting signed, you know? But we’ve been having to pick up the slack and that sucks.”

The trio nodded guiltily. They knew their priorities were a bit skewed as of late. Y/N had been meaning to call Electra for days, Tommy had been slacking and not taking his position as second in command seriously, and Nikki was too in love to whip Tommy into shape again. It wasn’t fair to Mick and Vince, and they knew that.

“Yeah, I mean us being together makes us happy, but maybe we should’ve considered if it would be good for the band,” Tommy sighed.

“Maybe taking a break would be the best thing for the band,” Y/N mused, words soaked in sorrow.

“Hey, no! You don’t have to take a break from each other, just even out your priorities a little more, you know?” Mick offered, “Tommy still acts like a ten year old but has more grown up moments since you guys started this. Nikki broods less and the creative juices really seem to be flowing. And you seem really content, and me and Vince don’t want to take that from you. You just needed to be straightened out. It’s cool, just focus on the band more, okay?”

The three nodded and sighed in relief. Y/N excused herself to go lie down because it had been a long day, and Nikki followed. Tommy would have, but insisted that Nikki’s bedroom was too stuffy for the Los Angeles heat with no air conditioner. The bassist opened the window in his bedroom to allow for some air flow as the manager removed her shirt and pants to lie down on the dark sheets.

“Were you serious when you talked about us taking a break?” Nikki asked, sitting on the floor beside the bed.

“Only half. If it would be better for the band, I think we could all agree on it. But it would kill me not to be with you and T-Bone anymore,” She whispered.

“Yeah, I get it. I don’t think I could go back to not being with you two dumbasses,” He cracked a smirk, “The bed’s too big without a couple extra warm bodies next to me.”

“I bet you’d write some killer breakup songs, though. Everybody loves a heartbreak,” She joked, fanning herself with a magazine from the table.

“I wouldn’t love this heartbreak,” Nikki sighed, leaning his head on the mattress, inches away from hers.

She took the memo and kissed him deeply before the sounds of chaos erupted from the living room.

“Damn it, Tommy! Don’t drink all the beer!” Vince whined, “Grab another one and I’ll... I’ll shoot you with a staple gun!”

“Did you leave your bag out there?” Nikki whispered.

“Mhm,” Y/N hummed.

“Is your staple gun from the store in it?”

“Mhm, wh—“

There was a metallic pop, followed by shouting.

“FUCK, BLONDIE! YOU MISSED MY EYE BY AN INCH!” Tommy shrieked.

“HALF AN INCH!” Vince yelled back.

“Oh, fuck,” The couple in the bedroom sighed in unison, before going out to join back in the chaos.

Tag list: @jayprettymuchomw @kayladurin @crazysaladchopshop @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @loveofmyloif @saints-of-the-universe @tommyfuckinlee @oh-well1 @cranberribread @princesadeltoro @prostidudes-for-justice @miriampraez @tarahell @n-osebleed @valentines-in-london @bohemian-war @cuntlord0606 @holding-on-to-my-youth @abbysdogcollar @deacontaylormercurymay @fuckyeah-motleycrue

[tisthenightofthewitch]

The sexy face of Satanism. We talk to the leader of  Ghost.

(translated from Polish - sorry for errors!)

Tobias Forge, the founder of the Ghost band, has only recently been talking to the press without an anonymous mask. For years, he only showed himself publicly as Papa Emeritus, a devilish priest whose purpose was to free the world from the oppression of government and religion. Now, remaining true to his intentions, he is known as Cardinal Copia.

Bartek Czartoryski: You've been playing concerts almost continuously for a year. Tired?

Tobias Forge : Oh yes, and I already feel that when I go home on December 20, I will fall dead.

You played in Spodek, and it's almost an iconic place for us. Here, for example, Metallica gave their first Polish concerts, with which you recently shared the stage.

I am very happy that we played here. Until now, we went to Warsaw Stodola, where we played probably three times and always thought that it was damn unfair for the Polish audience, because it got a smaller spectacle than everyone else. And now, finally, we could present our entire arsenal, with all the effects, pyrotechnics and so on.

Poland is, after all, a conservative and Catholic country, and Ghost has always been against organized religion. You don't feel like on hostile territory because of that?

No, we have never experienced any form of resentment, which is why I am a bit surprised at why Nergal is so often abused here. However, I explain it to myself that he comes from this country and is widely known here, which is why the attention of the press and public opinion is focused on him every day. We encounter no resistance here, and Polish institutions are not trying to censor us.

And I point this out, among other things, because I am aware of the problems Adam sometimes has. I am anonymous. People may know Ghost, but not me personally. In turn, probably every person accidentally encountered on the street although heard about Nergal. He's the walking advertisement of the devil's alliance here, whatever you call it.

It's good that you mentioned the devil because you are the sexy face of Satanism.

I hope so! But, seriously, I didn't realize it until we started touring more often, especially in America. There I noticed that more and more women come to our performances. And then I had to confront my idea of ​​what Ghost would ever become with what was actually happening.

Already on the first album, when the audience's reactions to my songs were quite good, I thought that something really cool could be born from it. But it wasn't until we went on the road to America and saw all these girls that I started to connect the dots, that maybe there was something in it that I didn't notice, which I didn't take into account.

I will not hide that one of the inspirations behind Ghost is the "The Phantom of the Opera" that I saw as a child, which seemed to me a romantic spectacle, but not necessarily charged with sexual energy. Except that soon my mother, with whom we flew to London, took me for "Cats." And that's pure sex. The whole scene is filled with attractive people in tight cat costumes. I was thirteen then and I fell in love with all the kittens one by one.

And when, playing overseas, I felt that corporeality was part of our performance, it enlightened me: since the audience has no idea what we look like, we can be anyone they want. They could have imagined me as George Clooney. However, this was not something I had planned. At first, our image was a bit clumsy, but when I noticed what we were talking about, I even thought that everyone would wear pants and move more around the stage. I put more emphasis on corporeality.

Speaking of concepts, I am curious about how the fusion of the musical and textual part looks with graphics, for which the Polish artist, Zbyszek Bielak, is responsible.

We have known Zbigniew for many years and we have learned to work with each other. When I compose and write lyrics, I like to have a clear outline of what the album will be about. That is why I need some starting points, such as cover and title, quite quickly. I don't want to lie, but I think we've already prepared everything before the recordings. Therefore, I hope that when I finish the tour after the tour, the cover will be ready and I will hang a large print on the wall. Only then will I be sure of the course I have chosen.

And as for the whole graphic design, because we plan to draw for virtually every song, it's organic work. I have now probably more than twenty invented songs, but these can change during further work. And it happens that I rewrite the text, change the title and then it may turn out that the graphics we have are better in line with the previous concept. But sometimes the opposite happens and I compose for drawing. So I am asking Zbigniew to come up with something that is consistent with the outline of my idea, not having a ready text, and then write, looking at the graphic. We do not have a predetermined work system, as I said, a living process.

You've come a long way with Ghost, breaking through the rungs of the rock career and wondering where you would now place yourself and the band? Far to the glass ceiling?

We are evolving, we have probably not reached the ceiling yet. It seems to me that only the next step will decide where we are going. We are getting used to the concept that we are becoming a band playing on large stages and the next, fifth album, which will start the next cycle of this evolution, will show whether we really deserve it or not.

Historically, many rock bands made a huge leap forward on the fifth album, such as Metallica or Iron Maiden. We at Prequelle have not done anything like this yet, but no one is surprised that we are playing here on the Spodek stage, that we fit here. And, going to our concert, you are aware that for the price of the ticket you will get everything you expect, I can guarantee it. Once you get out of the club into the hall, you have to give the audience something more, you can't go on looking and play like a small band that is lucky and that can't cope on the big stage. Then you have to do more and not stand out from bands that have been practicing it for years.

Just like Behemoth, who booked the largest halls for the recent tour in Poland.

You still have to. Believe that you can, that you can. For years, there has been an opinion that there is no one to replace old rock scene stunts who are slowly retiring. Because it doesn't work that suddenly the little ones become big. Or, on the other hand, that those who have been on stage for thirty years deserve the best place on the festival poster just because they have a long experience. And it's not the years of playing that are a measure of whether you are good or not. I remember the outrage over Avenged Sevenfold who were supposed to play Download after well-deserved bands that have been operating for decades. But so what if they play better concerts? This is how it should look like.

Tell me, do you feel relieved that after so many years you can take off the mask and officially perform during, even our conversation, under your real name?

To be honest, I feel completely detached from my stage character, and today even more than before. Maybe I'm not an abstainer, but I won't go to the club after the concert to pour a whole bottle of something stronger, and that probably would be expected from what I do on stage. Sometimes I also feel like I'm stuck in a limbo, because people expect a set of specific behaviors from me, observed at the concert, which sometimes is a bit tiring. That is why I insist that when material about me or the band appears, that it should be accompanied by photos of the band or Cardinal or Papa, not mine.

Because you, Tobias Forge, are not a member of the band.

Exactly. I don't want myself on posters, just like George Lucas does not appear on Star Wars advertising materials. I created a world, but I'm not part of it.

You've roughly thought of the band's mythology around a decade ago, but I guess the various circumstances and realities of the music industry require you to constantly change.

I couldn't think of all this ten years ago. I cut and developed individual ideas on a regular basis. Today, our mythology is also created by fans. Ghost is not just mine anymore. Maybe I came up with this and supervises the whole undertaking, but I don't expect that everyone involved, especially the audience, will follow me blindly. That is why what I do requires due attention from me.

GWIAZDY.wp.pl

(LOVED the support for Nergal!!)

[daesungfmd]

𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒎𝒊.

verification for partial lyricism credit.

the process of writing ‘tmi’. 1,054w, excluding lyrics.

seven years into daesung’s career, he’s finally given the green light to start working on a solo project. not the tentative ‘we’ll see’ that he’s heard over and over, but a certain confirmation that it’s time. better yet, he’s granted (some) creative leeway and the first thing that he decides is that he doesn’t want to sing some sad ballad, the second is that he doesn’t want to sing about love. not that there’s anything wrong with either; it’s just that he’s been singing sad ballads and love songs for long enough already. if he’s going to branch out, he wants to go all the way — he wants a song that’ll feel like it’s entirely his, not some packaged good that he just so happens to be the one holding.

tmi isn’t a new idea. it’s been floating around in his head for months, inspired by a steadily-growing collection of conversations with people who are coming to the realization that there’s nothing clean and polished about his public image. what you see may not be all there is, but what you see is definitely a part of what you get. true to the extent that some people tell him he’s too much. too honest for an idol, too talkative, too loud — it’d be okay if it were a persona, but somehow, the fact that it’s real makes it feel overwhelming. (he thinks about one particular mc, the t shape they’d made with their hands, the way they’d shouted tmi, tmi, tmi to drown out a story that became more and more embarrassing as daesung revealed more details. it would’ve been laughed at if it had clearly been made up for the show, right?).

in simpler words, he wants a song that reflects this side of himself; something that’s entirely too honest in a venial way.

from there, it develops into an outline of citing personal facts, rambling through lyrics that will feel like talking to an old friend. a friend who shares every pointless detail, even if it’s tmi. the team of company lyricists that he confides in tell him it’s a good idea if he can find a way to make it work.

he starts writing the same night, but approaches the page with a tense mindset. too serious, too eager to impress — tmi shouldn’t be about impressing anyone. he backtracks, decides that his first step should be formulating a list of personal facts. things that aren’t scandalous, but are secretive for other reasons, like being too irrelevant to slip into interview answers or casual conversation. he has the team of lyricists review his list through texts, scrapping ideas that they claim wouldn’t sound good in any kind of song, or the ones that they don’t think his fans would like to hear.

it becomes easier to write like this. foot tapping steadily against the hardwood floors in his apartment, he gets a full verse written in fifteen minutes. 

my sleep cycle’s messed up (jetlag) need blackout (curtains) but to be honest, i’ll sleep wherever my back lands (sleep well) if i don’t have a schedule, i’ll sleep all day so i can rest during the daytime, call me later at night

he considers leading in to a tale of nightlife, but decides it’d be too predictable that way. he doesn’t want a song that focuses on one topic too much; to avoid getting stuck on his reversed sleep-wake cycle, he pulls more facts from his list instead.

cold noodles over spicy ones, but without cucumber, please (i do eat pickles, though) dogs over cats because of my allergies (my eyes even turn red) considering a lasik surgery ‘cause i’m a minus 7 (physical exam’s level 3) my car’s a white g-wagon

he can’t start out a song like this, though. needs to sound like he has some idea of what he’s talking about if he wants people to listen past the first thirty seconds, so he writes another verse next with the intentions of having it be less rambly, but just as pointless.

don’t know why, but i woke up early today i feel like going for a walk should i just throw on whatever and go outside for a sec? nah, the micro dust is crazy the weather’s terrible my house is where i need to be my breakfast menu’s sunny-side up, cereal and toast i lie down on the sofa again, watchin’ netflix what series should i watch?

it’s relatable, right? for night owls like him, he thinks it will be — they should all know the feeling of waking up before noon, not knowing what exactly to do. knowing you should take advantage of a whole day to be productive, but ending up wasting it away instead.

for daesung, the chorus is usually the easiest part to write, but now he draws a blank. he could write plenty of verses like this, he thinks, but he doesn’t know how to glue the pieces together; he ends up sleeping with only two verses written, leaves the song alone for a couple days and comes back with a fresh mind.

he thinks it makes sense to write about nightlife now, considering the lines about being shocked to wake up early and preferring nighttime communication, so that’s what he goes for. he writes a whole pre-chorus and chorus about being the type of person who goes out too much because he doesn’t like to be alone, because he needs excitement in his life and the company of other people to keep from thinking too much, but this is where the issue rises.

it’s too much.

figures — a song based on oversharing and being too much shouldn’t have limits, but because he is still an idol, he understands where the criticism comes from when he sends the lyrics to another lyricist through email to be reviewed. (how about something like this for the pre-chorus? similar flow, but it’s less likely to be misconstrued, right?)

i used to go out every night (we party) but i hardly go outside these days it’s dangerous outside, it’s dangerous outside the blankets too many temptations and people make me exhausted i get a little stressed over my personality which makes me feel lonely thinkin’ ‘bout these things, i’m divin’ back into the studio anyway, thanks for listening to my story even if it’s tmi.

it’s almost entirely different from what daesung had written, and he thinks that it’s a bitter form of censorship. feels like taking his liveliness and shoving it into a box, telling him to stay at home and just focus on work; but he tells himself it’s not meant to be personal, right? some things have to be muted for the sake of palatability, and besides, he can detect bits of himself still present in the new lyrics, so he accepts the adjustments without showing his disappointment.

tmi becomes a placeholder in the chorus itself, repeated over and over for no other reason than neither he nor the other lyricists involved in the process have thought up a new one yet — in the end, it sticks. it’s easier this way, and though some of them argue that it’s repetitive to the point that it’s irritating, daesung gets attached to it. he thinks that it adds to the concept, and his vehemence to keep it in wins the battle.

he thinks it should fade out like this — repeating tmi until the song ends, but he’s told that an outro will make it sound smoother, so he listens, but finds a way to have tmi be the last word, anyway.

tmi, tmi, tmi for you, this might be tmi, tmi, tmi

[sylvari-bouquet]

Author Interview Tagged by @cousinslavellan​, thank you for tagging!

Name: Kinos / sylvari-bouquet / maitoparrakas

Fandoms: (For the ones I’ve written for) Guild Wars 2, Critical Role 

Where You Post: Mostly here, though I plan moving more stuff to my A03 too

Most Popular One-Shot: Probably first step was a cat for Critical Role. I had no idea how it feels to write to popular/active fandom before that, haha.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: I don’t have any multi-chapter fics

Favorite Story You Wrote:  Either Harvest bc it’s delightfully fucked up, or the Homecoming, because I really like how it turned out.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Anything and everything, but probably Harvest or Kiss of the Larvae, since I’ve not really written horror stuff before.

How You Choose Your Titles: I like using song lyrics or prompts, but sometimes it’s just something that comes up on its own

Complete: roughly 40, but that’s counting every prompt too

Incomplete: 4 to 6, depending if I’ll actually ever start writing some of the stuff

Do You Outline: No plans we write and die that said, I do outline like very basic points, especially if it’s anything longer

Coming Soon/ Not Yet Started: I have still Wintersday stuff I need to write, some Critical Role ideas I’ll probably never write, Time Travel AU for Nettle and then the big project that focuses on Papaver’s past and Nightmare Court after HoT, among other things. I do want to eventually rewrite/polish some of my earlier pieces too.

Do You Accept Prompts: Yes, always!

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: the big project(tm), or something that follows up from Harvest.

[rovalent]

After their month of rest, Luxe are gathered once again by their coaches.

Starting on February 3rd, when they’re all (except for the busy Ella) told to meet in the company building, the girls of Luxe are introduced to the next plan in their journey. While a comeback ends up not being the news the coaches have to share, they promise something else exciting.

Preparations will start for something different: a guerilla mini-concert. The girls will have the time to prepare for it, which involves both making sure their songs are as polished as they can be, but also preparing a few special performances. The mini-concert will have the run time of 30 minutes, so they’ll have to make every second worth it, involving the songs as well for the talking moments. The company has chosen some of their previous tracks for them to perform, including: ‘I Feel Good’, ‘Mini Skirt’, ‘Boy, and ‘Like A Cat’. The girls will have the time to prepare 2 special stages, which can be broken into units or be done by the full group. They’re instructed not to prepare something too long since time isn’t in their favor. OOC-wise, please debate the stages you’d be interested in doing amongst yourselves and with the help of a mod. The mini-concert will happen next month, in March.

Ella will be notified of preparation plans on her drama set and will get to prepare for the mini-concert whenever possible. The lead actors of ‘The Heirs’ as well as a few other cast members will have to fly off to California to film some of the scenes starting on February 10th and going until February 29th. Since Ella’s character won’t appear in these, she won’t be going with. This means that her time at the set will be lowered significantly once her needed scenes are done with. This could give her a lot of time to practice.

However, on February 10th, as her co-stars fly away, her manager notifies her of a new opportunity brought to her. Ella has been invited to record a music video for a senior artist. It is inspired by this video here. She’ll have to go on February 18th to the filming set to record her scenes, which will be all of them. They’ll record more than once to ensure the best take is the one that makes the final cut.

Following her beautiful pictorial, Cheri will be approached by a company on February 13th in the hopes that she’ll become their newest ambassador. On February 19th, she’ll go to an indoor set for a photoshoot with the brand Tio Iced Tea where she’ll get her pictures taken for promotion. These photos will be shared by the brand later on and will be found digitally and on physical stores. Cheri will be able to take a few of the products home to enjoy and, most importantly, to promote.

Meanwhile, returning to the topic of music videos, Zoe will have a similar opportunity, but with a smaller role. Zoe was invited to have a cameo appearance on an upcoming music video for a senior artist on February 21st. It is inspired by this video here (the same role Sowon of GFriend had irl). She’ll go on February 28th and will only need to be on set briefly for the one scene she’ll appear in. 

When it feels like the month is close to ending, the girls are all gathered once again on February 24th. They’re given the lyrics to their next comeback ‘Up And Down’ and the lines each one will have.

On March 1st, LUXE will go as five to a recording of Idol Café to air on the S-POP channel on March 8th. 

You will gain +5 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE AS YOU WISH, +3 DEBUT POINTS and +2 ACHIEVEMENTS for completing the written requirements as explained on the idol tier page. As this is not a promotional month, you may choose any two achievements for the month’s points. There is a capped maximum of five solos, sets of starters and/or partnered threads you may write for to collect this month’s points.

* For clarification, old threads from previous months will count towards points so long as they fulfill the requirements as explained on the idol tier page. However, at least one of this month’s requirements must be written about the schedule to gain any points for February.

The only form that needs to be submitted at the end of the month is a verification form for your debut points and achievements. Any SP points earned can be collected as soon as you finish the requirement for them. At the end of the month, you will submit the following form to the Points Verification blog:

IDOL’S NAME - ROYAL ENT - FEBRUARY SCHEDULE (for the March 4 verification form)

PROOF OF ACTIVITY: [ x ]

POINTS: +00 SP [ distribute these however you like ]

TOTAL POINTS EARNED: +00 SP +00 DBT

+1 WK ACHIEVEMENT #1 [ NUMBER OF TIMES TAKEN + CURRENT LEVEL ]

+1 WK ACHIEVEMENT #2 [ NUMBER OF TIMES TAKEN + CURRENT LEVEL ]

DEBUT POINTS SPENT ON THE IDOL SHOP THIS MONTH:

NEW DEBUT POINTS TOTAL:

**** Ella’s and Zoe’s music video recordings give them 2 EXP. Their appearance on SPOP gives them another 1 EXP, and with Cheri’s contract with Tio Iced Tea, an additional 6 EXP is added, making it a total of 9 EXP. For more information regarding GROUP EXP, refer to the idol tier page.

[kates-sweet-escape]

For the longest time  [ HW | F ]

pairing: Hyungwon X Reader (Gender neutral)

genre: Fluff

word count: 3.8k

summary: You and Hyungwon have been friends for the longest time. But a night out in Seoul might change that forever. 

cover: Made by me. Picture credit to Naver Dispatch.

song: “Jealousy” by Monsta X

lyrics:  “There is nothing between us. So what is this? Why do you keep getting on my nerves?”

“You’re aware of the fact that you’re being extremely petty right now?” You almost had to scream at the top of your lungs to make your voice heard over the loud music that was blasting from the huge high-end speakers. You were in one of Seoul’s hottest nightclubs to party. Because you had something to celebrate. Your best friend’s first gig as a DJ. But instead of dancing the night away to the songs that Hyungwon was mixing so perfectly, you’d somehow gotten yourself caught up in this mess.  

You looked at Minhyuk who was standing right in front of you being way too close for comfort. You’d been friends with Minhyuk for a while now, but this… You could clearly see the barely visible pink highlights in his grey contact lenses. Even in the dimmed lights that were illuminating the bar right next to the dance floor. That’s how close he was. And if you hadn’t been that used to Minhyuk completely ignoring your personal space, you might have really felt uncomfortable.

He looked at you with a stern expression on his face before he nodded. “Yes. 100%.”

So he was serious. Great. “Then why do you-”

“Because that’s the only way Jihye will realize that she has done something wrong.” Minhyuk looked over his shoulder and towards the VIP booth across from the dancefloor where you had been seated upon entering the club with Hyungwon. Jihye was sitting at the table surrounded by Hoseok, Hyunwoo and Kihyun. Usually she loved all the attention. But today she didn’t seem too happy about it. Her big brown eyes were transfixed on Minhyuk, not minding Kihyun at all who seemed to be talking to her. Her expression had hardened, making her look almost angry as she was watching Minhyuk very closely. You shouldn’t take part in any of it. You weren’t on good terms with Jihye to begin with. You should just pull out of this whole show that Minhyuk was putting on for her to see. And not only because this was childish and stupid. But also because you knew what it felt like to be eaten alive by jealousy.

Minhyuk smiled a little before he leaned in a little further towards you, making you able to clearly smell the cologne he was wearing. “She’s looking this way. Laugh. Like I said something funny.”

You scoffed as you saw Jihye clenching her jaw. This was just ridiculous. “I don’t think you’re very funny.”

“Well, that’s because you have a rotten sense of humor.” Minhyuk pouted a little, fully aware of the fact that you were weak to him playing cute. “Come on Y/N. Please!”

“Minhyuk, this is insane.” Yet you still faked a laugh, even placing your hand on his shoulder just to really help him with his little charade. You were definitely way too smitten with that guy. “You're both grown-ups. Just talk it out for Christ’s sake.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried that already?” Minhyuk, who was known for being a tease, took your hand from his shoulder and held it for a lot longer than he should have. “I did. Countless times. But this is the only way she’ll even notice that I am angry about something. You know how she is.”

Yeah, you knew. That’s why you shouldn’t get involved in this. Because that woman was borderline crazy. You sneaked a peak towards the booth. Jihye looked really angry, her plush lips pressed together into a small line. You let go of Minhyuk's hand and took a small step back. That should do the trick.

Jihye and Minhyuk where the kind of couple that you’d seen in countless movies. They were always fighting. And if they weren’t fighting, they were in the process of making up. At first, you’d thought that it was kind of funny. But after two years with front row seats to all their drama, you were just tired of it all.

“Gosh. How are the two of you even still together?”

Minhyuk smirked a little, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Dedication. Loyalty. And lots of-”

“If you want me to play along, you better not finish that sentence.”

“Love.” He giggled a little. “And lots of love, Y/N.”

You clicked your tongue in annoyance. You knew what he’d really meant to say. You’d been friends with him for long enough to know what was going on in that funny little brain of his. “You’re the worst.”

You were looking for the bartender who’d taken your order a while ago, but since this place was packed, it seemed like you’d still have to wait for a little longer to get your drinks. You’d wanted to go alone, but Minhyuk had tagged along. And now you knew exactly why. Gosh, you wished that Jooheon hadn’t been busy tonight. Then you wouldn’t have to play the decoy. Those two were usually flirting with each other anyway. But since he was caught up at work, you’d just have to play Minhyuk’s flirt of choice.

Great. Just great.

Minhyuk let out a deep and drawn out sigh. “Don’t you think I feel pathetic for doing this? Because trust me, I do. And I know that you don’t like her an-”

“What are you two talking about?”

You were glad that the loud music completely swallowed up the loud yelp of surprise you’d let out. “Changkyun!” You pressed your hand against your heart that was beating rapidly inside your chest as you looked towards the youngest of the group. He was rocking a pair of round glasses, black nail polish and a man bun. “Hell, don’t ever do that again!”

“Do what again?” You were met with Changkyun’s usual expression of faked innocence that just gave away the fact that he’d done this on purpose just to annoy you.

“Creeping up on me like that!” You hated being surprised. Which was exactly why Changkyun had done it in the first place. That little bastard. Why were you friends with him again? Oh yeah, right. Because you adored all of Hyungwon’s friends. “Make a noise if you move, would you? You’re not a friggin’ cat.”

“I make plenty of noise. You just can’t hear it because of the loud music.” Changkyun smiled at you smugly before pointing towards the DJ booth where Hyungwon was playing one amazing set after the other. “By the way, is it just me, or is Hyungwon on fire tonight?”

“You bet your ass he is.” Minhyuk let out an impressed whistle and you couldn’t help to feel an immense amount of pride as you watched the crowd cry out in approval upon the smooth song transition that you knew Hyungwon pulled off effortlessly. “Those beat drops and song transitions? The crowd is going nuts over them.”

You looked at Hyungwon who was staring down towards his DJ gear. He seemed to be lost in his own little world again, with those giant headphones dangling from his neck. He was wearing a black T-Shirt and his hair had this surreal silver color you’d helped him apply in the bathroom only a few hours ago. He looked up at the crowd again before he initiated another beat drop, jumping up and down with them as it kicked in.

Seeing him like this, at the DJ booth, working diligently while the crowd went wild over what he did, was still foreign to you.

It was like he wasn’t Hyungwon anymore. It was like he’d completely transformed into H.One. And even though you hated to admit it, you kind of liked it. Because you knew how much he loved this. How much his music meant to him. You’d talked about it with him countless times whenever he came over to your apartment to show you a new song. You would both lie on the floor, right next to one another, and just listen to it in the silence of your apartment.

And those moments were some of your most treasured memories.

You smiled as Hyungwon suddenly looked up and your eyes met for a few seconds over the large crowd that was separating you from him.

He was looking right into your eyes. You still needed to get used to this new look with the blue eyes and the silver hair. But no matter which colored lenses he wore or what hairstyle he was having you’d always be able to recognize him straight away. Because he would always be your best friend Hyungwon. And nothing would ever change that.

You really shouldn’t stare at him for this long. People would misunderstand. So you nodded at Hyungwon one final time before you refocused on your conversation with Minhyuk and Changkyun. “I told you guys that he’s that good.”

“How were we supposed to know?” Minhyuk sounded a little offended. “He never talks about his music.”

Changkyun cocked up his eyebrow before looking at you intensely, which you chose to ignore. “Well with us he doesn’t”

“And we are his roommates.” Minhyuk narrowed his eyes but his lips were still showing a hint of that proud smile he’d had on his lips ever since Hyungwon had told them about this gig. “That little traitor.”

Okay, that was enough. You turned towards Minhyuk. “First of all, he’s taller than you, Minhyuk. So you shouldn’t call him little.”

“But-”

“And second of all, are you really surprised that he doesn’t want to talk about his music with any of you?” Because you sure as hell weren’t. You loved these idiots to bits, but they could be a real pain in the ass. “You always tease him for being a DJ.”

“No, we don’t.”

“You do.” You’d seen it for yourself on multiple occasions. And you were so over it by now. Hyungwon wasn’t like all those countless college kids that thought of themselves as the next David Guetta just because they had seen some DJ Youtube tutorial once. No, Hyungwon had actual skill. “And I swear to God if I ever hear any of you call him H. Aoki ever again, I’m gonna start throwing punches.”

“You know, Y/N” Changkyun was looking towards the DJ booth before suddenly leaning into you, his lips brushing over your earlobe as he started speaking again. “You’re kinda hot when you get angry about something.”

You rolled your eyes, completely unfazed by any of it. Changkyun was as much of a tease as Minhyuk was, flirting left and right wherever he went. You’d seen him have countless flings in the past. With men and women. So you knew he was only playing around to annoy you. Because if Changkyun had really wanted to flirt with you, he’d be a lot smoother about it.

You shoved him and Changkyun let out a dry laugh as he stumbled backwards, only missing some poor fella by a mere inch.

“Shut up, Kyun. Seriously.” You felt a light tap on your shoulder and turned around towards the bartender who’d finally gotten your order ready. You reached for your money, but Minhyuk was a lot faster, handing the guy a 50.000 Won bill before picking up Jihye’s martini and Hoseok's coke and his own vodka-energy and heading towards your booth.

In the corner of your eye you could already see how Changkyun tried to escape, but you grabbed him by the ear and dragged him towards the bar. “You aren’t going anywhere.” You nodded in Hyungwon’s direction before handing Changkyun the water you’d ordered for him. “Bring him his water.”

Changkyun let out a deep sigh, but he took the glass of water off the counter before grabbing his beer. “You know that I’m not your slave, right?”

“You're the youngest,” you said with a smirk on your face as you picked up the rest of the drinks, including your own. “That’s basically the same as being a slave.”

“Can’t you give him his water?” Changkyun glanced nervously towards the DJ booth. “I don’t wanna get close to him right now.”

“What?” Something was seriously wrong with this kid.

Changkyun bit down on his lower lip, looking a lot less tough even though the tattoos on the side of his neck usually made him seem like a total badass. But when it came to his hyungs he was really just a nervous mess sometimes. “He might kill me.”

“Why?” You laughed a little. It was always fun to watch the guys putting Changkyun in his place. God knew that cocky kid desperately needed it. “Did you tease him again?”

Changkyun looked at you in utter disbelief before he started giggling like a preschooler. “Wow. You’re so dense.”

“What?!”

Changkyun took a huge step forward. “See you later, Y/N!”

“No! Hey, Kyun! What are you talking about?” You stretched out your hand to grab him by the collar, but Changkyun was already out of reach, sticking out his tongue as he disappeared within the crowd.

“The show tonight was really great. The crowd loved you.”

“Mh.” Hyungwon seemed to be completely lost in thought as he was walking right beside you. He’d been oddly quiet ever since you’d said goodbye to the others at the club. They’d stayed behind because they’d still wanted to keep on partying but you’d been tired. Work had been tough lately. So you’d been grateful when Hyungwon had suddenly shown up at the booth, telling you that he wanted to leave because his gig had just ended. And since it had kind of become a tradition that he’d walk you home after a night out, usually taking you on a little stroll around town to sober up a bit while talking to you, you’d left with him immediately without thinking twice.

But now you were kind of second-guessing that decision. Maybe you should have gotten a cab instead. It would have been a lot less frustrating. And a lot less awkward.

“What did the manager say?” You tried your best to keep the conversation going. If you could even call it that. Because it was mainly just you babbling on and on while Hyungwon kept his mouth shut. “Will you be able to have a gig there again?”

“Mh.”

Slowly you were starting to get angry. At least you’d be home in a matter of minutes. “I bet he’s gonna make you a regular in no time. He’d be a bloody idiot if he didn’t.”

“Mhm.”

Your apartment door finally came in sight and you let out an annoyed sigh. You’ve been friends with Hyungwon for over 6 years now, meeting him in your first year of college and becoming best friends in a matter of months. And in all those years, you’d never felt uncomfortable around him. Until tonight.

There had never been that much awkward silence between the two of you. And you hated it. But there was nothing you could do about it. Because apparently, Hyungwon had just chosen to act like an utter idiot tonight. Maybe his first big gig had already gotten to his head. Or maybe he just didn’t feel like talking to you. But whatever was going on with him tonight, you sure as hell weren’t having any of it.

“You know if you don’t feel like talking just say so, instead of acting like a complete prick.” You came to a halt in front of your apartment, eyeing Hyungwon who finally seemed to actually look at you for the first time ever since you’d left the club. “Newsflash: I don’t need you to walk me home. I’m a grown up and more than capable of protecting myself.” You could see him clenching his jaw in anger, but you didn’t care. You were just as angry as him. Maybe even a little angrier. You’d looked forward to him taking you home. You liked those little late night strolls you shared because that was the only time you actually had him all to yourself. Where you could openly and freely talk to him. But he’d taken that away from you by acting this way. Which made you furious. “So next time you don’t have to force yourself to come along.”

“Oh give me a break.” Hyungwon narrowed his large eyes, the cold and angry stare sending shivers down your spine. But you weren’t backing down. Not this time. “I didn’t force myself to come along and you know it.”

“Do I? Because you’ve given me the silent treatment for the past thirty minutes and I don’t even know why.” You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Care to explain now?”

Hyungwon opened his mouth, almost as if he wanted to start talking, but after a few seconds, he shut it again, staying as silent as he had been for the past thirty minutes.

You’ve seriously had enough of this. “Goodnight, Hyungwon.”

You turned his back on him, punching in the code to your apartment with so much force that you feared you might break the number pad. But you just couldn’t get yourself to care. You were still way too angry to focus on anything else.

You opened your door as soon as it was unlocked but just as you wanted to step inside your dark little hallway, you were shoved forwards, struggling to stay on your feet as you stumbled inside.

“What the hell?” You looked back at Hyungwon who was coming in right behind you before he closed the door with a loud thud. “I don’t remember inviting you in.”

He didn’t seem to care much for your words because he didn’t make any move to leave. He even had the nerve to take off his leather jacket. “This isn’t over.”

“Oh, I beg to differ.” You pointed towards the door while taking off your shoes. Right now you really didn’t want to see his face any longer than absolutely necessary. “I have nothing more to say to you.”

Hyungwon grabbed a hold of your wrist as you tried to get away from him. “But I do.”

“Well, you could have said it on the way here.” You scoffed. “It’s four in the morning. Just-”

“Why the f*ck was he standing so close to you?”

Hyungwon’s sudden outburst of anger left you speechless. You’d never heard him raise his voice. At least not towards you. But now he was looking at you, with a fire in his eyes that you feared could be used for mass destruction. He was obviously really angry. And you had no idea why.

“What? Hyungwon, you aren’t making any sense right now.”

“Minhyuk.” Hyungwon suddenly took a huge step towards you, his chest almost touching yours as he looked down at you, his eyes not leaving yours. “He was this close to you, wasn’t he?”

Suddenly you had trouble breathing. Since when was it that hot in your apartment? Was the AC broken?

“I…” You stopped, unable to focus on anything but the distinctive smell of his cologne and the warmth of his body. “Could you take a step back?”

“Why? You seemed to be pretty comfortable with the other guys coming that close to you. Changkyun too.” Hyungwon snarled. You’d never seen him like this before. “He was even closer to you, right?” He took another step towards you, his hand grabbing you by the waist as you tried to take a step back. “Like this.” He leaned in even further, making your head spin with the feeling of his lips touching your ear. You could feel his breath on your skin. “I could see his lips touching your ear.”

“Hyungwon, stop.” You placed your hands on his chest, pushing him back a little. You had a hard time forming coherent sentences. You’d had a crush on him since day one, but since you’d become friends you’d always suppressed it. But having him this close to you wasn’t really helping. Quite the contrary. It was dragging all your pent-up feeling right back to the surface. Which was very, very dangerous to say the least. “What’s gotten into you? They were just messing around and you know it.”

Hyungwon shook his head, his fingers digging into your clothes even harder. “No, I don’t. And you shouldn’t just assume that either.”

“Minhyuk is in a relationship.”

“But Changkyun isn’t. So you shouldn’t let him this close to you.” You couldn't believe your ears. Did he really just say that? “That kid might misunderstand.”

Your brain didn’t seem to be able to focus on anything Hyungwon said, so you just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “That kid is only two years younger than you.”

By the way Hyungwon’s expression hardened, you knew that you’d said something terribly wrong.

Hyungwon’s voice sounded more like an angry growl than anything else. “You really shouldn’t take his side right now.”

“Seriously, what has gotten into you?” You tried to push him away but he just wouldn’t budge. He used to be a paper doll! What the hell was going on right now? “You’re acting really weird right now. If I didn’t knew any better, I’d say you’re jealous.”

Your words were followed by a heavy silence. You couldn’t possibly be right about this. That would be just ridiculous. Hyungwon wasn’t-

Hyungwon suddenly started speaking again. “What if I were?”

You could feel your heart sink in your chest. Was this some sick joke? Some prank that he pulled on you? “This isn’t funny.”

“Do you see me laughing?” He sounded dead serious. And just by your heart rate suddenly increasing, you knew you were in serious trouble.

Okay. Time to reason with him. And with that stupid heart of yours. “Hyungwon, we’re friends.”

“What if I don’t want to be just friends anymore? What if I want to be more than that?” Hyungwon suddenly lowered his voice. Now he was almost whispering. “What if I want to be able to be this close to you whenever I damn well please?” He came closer again, his nose brushing against yours as he was staring straight into your eyes, not even budging an inch. “What if I want to have the right to tell those two idiots off, when they’re too close to you again?”

Your brain had a hard time processing his words. “Why would you want that?”

“Because I like you, Y/N.” Hyungwon didn’t even flinch as he said those words that you’d secretly wanted to hear since the first day you’d met him. “And I have liked you for a very long time.” His lips brushed over your cheek ever so slightly, making your head spin and your stomach clench with anticipation. His next words shattered your friendship into a million little pieces while at the same time they opened the door to a whole new world of possibilities you’d always thought of as being tightly shut.

“So what do you say? Should we stop this little game now? Because I’ve been waiting for you to be mine for the longest time.”

[jessilynallendilla]

THE CONCRETE MIXER

Witches cry out against Ettil who won’t fight with Mars against Earth, he encourages them. (good) His wife cries and Ettil explains that it’s foolish, Earth will destroy them. (yeah they have no immunity against the common cold) Outside he could hear the marching army. Ettil resolves to stay on Mars and read, (I would too) his father in law says he’ll be shot, “Who ever heard of a Martian not invading? Who!” p.210 Ettil shoves him out of the house only to be arrested and Ettil shouts his goodbye to his wife.

In his cell he watches the rockets take off. Another with Ettil’s illegal Earth books demands an explanation. Ettil says that’s the reason he won’t invade and to get it over with and shoot him. (badass) He points out the books are on Mars invading Earth, getting thwarted by a man named Rick, Mick, Bannon or Jick (what kinda name is Jick?) and failing. The official calls it treason, Ettil brings up that Earth has generations of children reading stories of Earth successfully defeating an invasion, Mars doesn’t. (point taken) Reading that gives them morale. “Their youth of reading just such fiction as this has given them faith we cannot equal.” p.212 The official says Ettil has a choice join the war or burn with his books, Ettil chooses to burn. (badass like that lady in Fahrenheit 451) As he watches his books burn in the courtyard, he sees his fearful son watching, (oh that’s low and cruel) he changes his mind.

As they march to the ship Ettil sees his wife crying, (does this woman do anything but cry?) the men are laughing and Ettil whispers that they’re off to destruction but changes to victory when someone overhears him. Everything about him is back on Mars but here you’re a robot to bring death to Earthmen. You’re already dead here. Ettil thinks it happened quick, one Earth rocket reverse engineered to make an invasion. And now they know all about Earth and its people, (from one rocket and not all our radio signals?) “And we shall pay the price for our brilliance…” p.215

They wait to attack when the silence is broken by an Earth radio signal. (see) William Sommers, president of a production company welcomes them. They renounced war and are unprepared for the invasion they welcome them and ask for mercy. Sommers calls them all brothers and the Martians think he is either mad or it’s a trick. (or both)

People waited at the tarmac, the Mayor, his wife, Miss California 1965, Miss America 1940, Mr. Biggest Grapefruit and the police holding back the crowd, a full welcome wagon band and rockets. The band plays California, Here I Come, Oh, You Golden State and Santa Clause Is Coming to Town with the lyrics changed to Martians. When they land the Mayor makes a speech about the benefit of the Martians, Miss America offers to kiss them, the band play How Do You Do, Everybody and Mr. Grapefruit gives them a two-ton truck of grapefruit. All of this starting at 1:30 and ending at 4:00. (well with the lack of professionalism aside at least they’re efficient)

One Martian is suspicious of all this and wants to kill them. (of course they would) All around people mingle and ask questions. Ettil says he can feel a subtle evil about this and they’re going to do something he can just can’t figure out what. “One huge mass of common men, loving dogs and cats and Martians equally. And yet-and yet-” p.219 The humans pass out free beer (it’s technically toxic to us what makes you think an alien you know nothing about can consume it?) and the Martians start to get sick on our food. (see no immunity) The assignor says they overdid their hospitality and orders them to town as other ships land.

They walk into town and get scared by women in a beauty parlor looking like undersea creatures. (is Ray Bradbury a Humans Are Space Orcs poster?) They would rush them shrieking, destroy their sensibilities and change them into husbands and working men who pays so they can come in here and eat their evil chocolates. (sexism mixed with space orcs) A few think they can control the women. (sexism) A few women call out to the Martians calling them cute, Ettil runs. (like you do)  

Ettil sits at the park still in horror of the movie theatre. A woman gets his attention asking if he wants to go see a picture, everyone else is. He asks if that’s all they do, she says what else is there and laughs at the thought of reading. (air headed ditz) They do drive around and Ettil should get the new model. Then she says all his talk makes him sound like a communist they don’t stand for that, (this was written during the cold war it was all Americana during this time) they’ve been good to the Martians and let them invade. Ettil says that’s what he’s trying to understand, the woman says it’s because they’re big hearted and walk off.

Ettil tries to write a letter to his wife but is interrupted by an old woman and a girl with a tambourine asking if he’s been saved. (oh no) Ettil is confused asking if they’re in danger. The woman goes on that he’s in danger of the worst kind and “We saved lots already today. I saved three myself, of you Mars people. Ain’t we nice?” p.223 (no no you’re not) Then ask if he’s been baptized, Ettil is confused and asks if that’s like being shot. The woman goes on of how he’s being sinful and had an ignorant upbringing in those Martian schools that don’t teach the truth just lies (you’re right we do need to teach religion in schools let’s start with Islam) and if he wants to be happy, he needs to be baptized. (no you don’t)

She goes on describing peace, quiet, milk, honey and laughter and Ettil blurts out that Mars is a great planet like she described. She stops and asks if he’s joking, he says no, and the woman goes again that she wasn’t talking about nasty Mars and that it’s his type that will boil, suffer and be tortured. (yes insult a person their beliefs and homeland that will get them to listen to you and come to your side) He cuts her off, “I must admit Earth isn’t very nice. You described it beautifully.” p.224 Then pleads ignorance when she gets mad again and calls him a heathen. (All My Friends Are Heathens~) She gives him a pamphlet to the church if he wants baptized and goes down the street singing loudly that she’s happy. (and is promptly arrested for disturbing the peace)

Ettil writes to his wife again, that he was naïve to think Earthmen would counter attack with weapons. There are blond, pink, rubber robots that live in caves. They have large butts. They are hypnotized to watch movies for lengthy periods of time. And their only muscles are in their jaws from constantly chewing gum. (seriously read the actual story it’s chock full of Humans Are Space Orcs content) They’ve been dropped like seeds into a concrete mixer, (tiiii-tlllle) that is this civilization. They won’t survive, killed by kindness and “We will be destroyed not by the rocket but by the automobile…” p.225 Then right on time, there’s a car crash involving Earthmen and Martians. Ettil writes the statistics of car crashes, people made into jelly, the horror. (yeah car accidents can be pretty nasty)

Blood is all over the highway. Halloween is one of their holidays and he thinks that’s when they worship the automobile or something about death. (Space Orcs) He sees the army trapped in cinemas, by gum and witches. The Earthmen are killing them with romance. Then he writes that he will try to escape and may die and wishes love to their child. Confused about it all he leaves the park only knowing if he stays, he would own things that keep him here like a wife and a car. He sees the haunted faces of Earthmen. (…really?) A limo pulls up to Ettil and a man invites him in where they can talk. Ettil does. (stranger danger)

R.R. Van Plank orders Ettil a Manhattan, he works for Big Studios, he shakes Ettil’s hand which Ettil thinks is a message and Plank tells him of his idea, a movie about Earth being invaded by Mars. (you think it will be popular with all that’s going on?) He keeps talking about how he can give Ettil money and women from his black book, (ew) Ettil mistakes that the talk of peaches is about fruit. Plank doesn’t understand and explains his vision of Mars’s silver cities, Martians dancing around fires and tall blond Martian women. (is this cultural appropriation?) He won’t listen to Ettil when he says that Martian cities don’t look like that, they don’t dance around fires and Martian women are dark. Plank starts calling Ettil other names like Mac, Billy, Roscoe etc. because he says Ettil is a woman’s name (how?) and then goes on about his idea of a Martian woman saving the ship from a meteor. (of course)

Ettil asks why Earthmen are being nice to them, “We invade your planet, and you welcome us-everybody-like long-lost children.” p.229 (this has implications of imperialism) Plank explains everyone on Earth is common, the Martians envied Earth cities and were lonely. (mansplaining to Martians) He reasons they came down for Earth’s cities and women (of course) and they welcome them. There’s profit to be made, movies, dolls, games etc. and all the things Earth can sell to the Martians. (are the Martians sure they landed on Earth and not Ferenginar?) Ettil asks what R.R. stands for, it’s Richard Robert, the Ettil asks if people call him Rick. Plank says yes and Ettil starts laughing that he doesn’t have muscles, a lean jaw or a gun, just money, a ring and is overweight. Plank gets offended (I think anyone would if you called them fat) and Ettil says he’ll be the one who’ll conquer Mars and Plank tells him that he’s just a businessman wanting to corner the Martian market with cartoons, perfumes, dresses and shoes. Ettil tells him they don’t even wear shoes. Plank calls them Oakies (what people called Dust Bowl refugees from Oklahoma basically he’s calling them white/trailer trash) and they’ll shame everyone into wearing shoes, then nail polish. (modern advertisement I see) He asks Ettil if they’ve got a deal starting at two hundred a week. Ettil says he’s sick on the Manhattan, he starts turning blue (ok I’m really interested to see what these Martians look like) and steps out for fresh air.

Outside Ettil asks if all this is the reason they were taken in, Plank says yes, anytime Earthmen can make a buck and he leaves Ettil with his card. Ettil doesn’t know what to do now, he sees the rockets and hears the night life including the common occurrence of a Martian having a nervous breakdown in the compound from all the over stimulation. (learn to pace yourself) Ettil walks to the ships, the guards are drunk, (clearly the best for the job) and he wonders how many in the year will die from liver cirrhosis, kidney failure and suicide. He has to make a choice, stay on Earth and make movies lying about Mars, or steal a rocket and return. (quite the difficult choice there)

He thinks of their ancient cities and ancestral graves having nightclubs and casinos built into them. (replace the Martian context with Native American) He resolves to go to Mars to his wife and son and read his books for a few years until they’re invaded by neon. Then they could hide in the mountains until tourists come with their cameras. “War is a bad thing, but peace can be a living horror.” p.233 (traditions start to die and culture is trivialized and used as tourist fodder) He sees a car full of teenagers speed by pointing and yelling at him. He runs and before it hits him he thinks it’s strange that it sounds like a concrete mixer. (the somewhat ambiguous way it’s written I don’t know if this was an accident suicide or murder)

@crackspinewornpages

[not-an-eboy]

Soft Q&A

Got tagged by @jisungshotfirst thank you💕

Rules: Answer the soft Q+A’s and tag 5 of your most recent followers and 3 of your biggest fans

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

Apples!! I really love the smell of them and my hair smells so good!

What’s your aesthetic?

Black. Black clothes, black nail polish, dark make up. Literally never sleeping and living off coffee. Freckles. Cold eyes but soft soul.Affection . Taking pictures at 4am. Piercings and tattoos. Cats

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

Midnight. No one expects anything from me. I can relax, be myself and do what I want. I usually do my homework and study then. It’s also quiet and dark and i love looking at the stars~

What do you most like about the beach?

I don’t like it,,, I’m afraid of the ocean and i don’t like the sand, being around so many half naked people and getting sunburnt

What do you worry about constantly?

What other people think about me. Like, do I look ugly? Is my smile ugly. Do i look like a girl?

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

42 by 3Racha. I can relate to the lyrics so much and it gets my everytime bc I just know how all Of that feels, how helpless you are. It’s just, I never want to be at that point ever again and that reminds me of it

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

Uh I’m bad at this.. Just give yourself time. Don’t force yourself to do things you’re not ready for! Take your time and don’t be disappointing if you can’t do something at your first try! And don’t listen to other people being mean. You’re amazing and it doesn’t matter if that guy from your school thinks you’re not

What are some things that make you tear up?

Music! I think many artists express their feeling through they’re music and I get emotional if it’s sad

What is your favorite from each sense?

Sight: Stars and the moon

Smell: Apples and Coconut

Touch: Hugs and soft fabrics

Taste: Sweet stuff

Sound: Someone softly humming to their favorite song

What is one alternative reality you’d like to be in?

One in which I am a cis boy and in which I can be with my girlfriend :’)

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

Worrying about passing I guess. I just hate that fact that I might look like a girl

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

Oof idk mate, haven’t read a book in ages

Say something to your followers:

First of all thank you for following my dumb ass blog haha I’m really surprised about how many people like seeing me being dumb on the internet :‘) You can also always talk to me if you want to, my dms are always open! I’m always there to talk and help if it’s needed! And i also wanted to mention again that i don’t tolerate any hate on this blog so if you think you can hate on me or especially my girlfriend (the person I mean knows who they are) then please unfollow me and never come back again. But really, I love y’all💕 I made some really good friends on here and I appreciate you guys a lot💕

I tag: @panbitchx @longbuttride @handholdinghyejoo @vallkyr @felixsvalentine @hyunjinsgiggle

[songsfromthemoons]

Mixlog, 2022-02-18

Songs From The Moons has been working on our debut album for a while - roughly a year and two months - taking various shapes and sizes before eventually settling down. Here’s the first mix log, from yesterday. It mentions cats who work in IT, horses in hallways, and other menial stuff. A mirror will live below the cut if you don’t wanna click the link.

- Jordan

Got in a voice call with most of the band today. We sifted down a tracklist of roughly 16 tracks to about 11 or so (not counting [REDACTED]), inserting a song from our attempt at February Album Writing Month this year - which is still going on - and removing stuff that either wasn’t written yet or didn’t have the vibes to go on the first one. I don’t wanna spoil too much, but the two original songs will be on the album, just rerecorded or in slightly different forms. Recorded a demo of a song called IT Cat for FAWM today. Immediately rerecorded the vocal part and added a real guitar part mixed in with the synth guitar. It’s basically done at this point, we’ll see if it goes on the album. I still need to work on iCube. I added too much to it last time I tried expanding it for the album and it just kinda became a mess - also need to rerecord the vocal parts because at present it’s kinda embarrassing. Need to retrack vocals for Bloom And Doom and the rhythm guitar during the outro (the latter has a pop in it from audio gremlins invading my PC). Sleepin’ (do I really want that to be the title? whatever I’ll decide later)... I dunno how to work on the lyrics to that, but instrumentally I think it’s mostly done. It feels like it’s missing *something*, though I just dunno what. I’ll deal with Sunny Side Up later.

- JS

---

Today was quite a productive day for the production of the album! We curated the tracklist (as Jordan stated), creating a much finer and polished tracklist. There's still the order of tracks to worry about, but I guess that's something we can figure out once we have everything close to completion. I mourn for the outtakes, but the ones we cut are already being planned to be reutilized in some form. I came up with an idea for an "interlude" just now, involving flipping through radio stations, parodying various things. This is very much inspired by the Farkle tracks placed throughout the Logan Whitehurst discography. I don't know why I thought to share this here, but it's currently on my mind. I need to work on 2 primary things at the moment: Good Morning and Bloom And Doom, both of which I decided to restart from scratch earlier. However, I don't know if I will follow through with this choice. Bloom And Doom had various issues, including a discrepancy somewhere that resulted in the vocals being obnoxiously out of sync, despite being in the same BPM throughout. Therefore, maybe starting anew for the instrumental might fix this? Not sure. As for Good Morning, I'm very indecisive of whether or not to use the original, slower version or the newer iteration, which is much more energetic and a little "punk"-ish. The OG is more developed, which makes me think that I'll go with the original, but who knows. The album has no real deadline, and there's plenty of room for messing around with things. Other, lesser priorities are: A) contacting the engineer we had in mind for mixing and mastering the album and B) finalizing the bonus tracklist. A doesn't really need to be done until after all the recording is done (save maybe for some final touches), but I want to get that squared away before we forget. As for B, that's probably warranting another whole-group call. There's more things I need to get done, but this entry is long enough. I hope to update soon. Good night! - SG